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Title: Coworker issue... I must be a BPD magnet? Post by: Sunfl0wer on March 10, 2015, 10:22:33 PM (This doesn't really fit a category)
I reached out to show some compassion to a coworker having a difficult time at work. She did some things I wouldn't have, however, I believe that the person who was offended has unfairly painted her black. He is looking to get her into big trouble. Now, I did warn her of this, to watch herself, and did say, "let me know if there is anything I can do that would be helpful." I did give examples of small ideas that could be helpful. However, I barely know her and did not expect her to want so much. She is trying to get me to file a complaint against the person. She wants details to use against him. She is under investigation now and called me, txtd me several times through out my work day to find out what I told during my interview for her investigation. I simply txtd her back stating that I explained that she was being blamed for more than she deserved as this man has some issues and is taking it out on her. I refused to file a complaint against him. I had to tell this to her supervisor... .not a comfy situation. When I was able to see the manipulation of BPD-like traits and dynamics play out, while she was getting herself into a mess, I was initially very proud of myself. I felt like I was sharing my new info in a positive way! (I did not disclose BPD label on anyone... as it was just a dynamic thing). I felt that to caution her was kind. Now, with the result, her harassing me for info, I feel like I just triggered someone who is over emotional, reactive, to cross over my boundaries! And instead of helping, I have replayed myself in the role of my r/s with my BPD ex. How do I care... .just so much... . Without leading others on that I'm theirs for the taking? Maybe I should not have reached out with compassion to her the way I did? Ugh! Title: Re: Coworker issue... I must be a BPD magnet? Post by: sun seeker on March 10, 2015, 10:35:13 PM Hi sun
Great post! I feel exactly how you do. Im a disorder magnet as well. My recent post is how Im thankful for my BPD ex opening my eyes to red-flag 's . If we didnt learn from our exBPDer , then our time was wasted. Dont change who you are (compassionate), good people are out there. Hang in there you are on high alert as I am. Thankfully. |