BPDFamily.com

I've been lurking for weeks. I read this site for an hour every day. I'm (believe it or not) a writer but I am struggling to put anything into words about this. Yet. But I just wanted to connect with you all and tell you all thank you. You have saved me. You have kept my head whole. I don't know how I found this site but if i were religious (I am not) I would attribute God.

I am 32 and I have two kids, d9 and s1. My semi-diagnosed partner of 11 years left me extremely suddenly 5 weeks ago. I knew instinctively that - despite what he was saying that it wasn't about me at all. Everything you have written, everything you say - I have experienced.

This is a terrible intro! Anyway. Hi.

Welcome!

I haven't been around her for too long, but I feel immensely grateful as you do.

Can't wait to hear your story... .When you are ready.

Welcome to our family one true sentence.

Yes this place is a safe environment to write, read, vent, discuss, cry, laugh and heal! I can't imagine how I could have learned so much without stumbling onto this site myself. I am not religious either!

I'm sorry you are going through this hurt. It's easier for people here to help you when you have shared your own story. When you are ready, please share.

How are you doing?

You said that you are visiting for weeks. Are you eating, sleeping?  Share with us.

Rifka

OTS, I felt the same way. My relationship was in the past when I found this website, but finally what I had been through with my ex started to make sense. I think that I was suffering PTSD from the emotional pain that my ex had caused me with her BPD insanity.

If you are identifying with our experiences I am sure that it is helping to put some of the puzzle-pieces in place for you, which can be quite soothing and helpful if you are in emotional pain. I hope our shared experiences can be helpful to you... .that something positive can come from them.

hi onetruesentence, and *welcome* when i came here about 17 months ago i also was at the brink and knowing that there was a set of people who had had the same experiences was an indescribable source of support. as you read around the site you'll also find a copious set of articles, workshops, videos, a set of resources to help you understand the dynamic that exists in a BPD relationship. other-blaming, which you mention in your OP, certainly is a characteristic of BPD. i experienced it, i'm sure everyone here has also.

how are you and the children doing? are you in touch with your SO at all?

Glad you found this place, it will help. A LOT. You really need to talk and interact with people who understand you when you are going through this. Speaking from my personal experience, it was absolutely surreal how pretty much all of my friends didn't get what I was going through. Only one got it - the one who dealt with this before. She suggested I educate myself on personality disorders. Only then it clicked in my head what happened to me. Until then, the first 2-3 weeks after she disappeared out of my life for no reason whatsoever, I was in such a dark place mentally, I didn't know it existed in me. I actually went to a psychotherapist a couple of weeks ago and she told me that what I am going through (I am 3.5 months out) is an emotional trauma probably comparable to losing a loved one in a car accident. That makes sense because the first 4-6 weeks, I was flat out bat$hit crazy and I had no idea what was going on with me. It really felt like I was either going insane or was coming off some crazy drug.

Stick around here. It will really really help.

Yup.  Others cannot get it.  A few of my friends took the time to really listen to me and even read about BPD, which helped tremendously.  Anyhow -- welcome here.  We get it.

Hi onetruesentence, 


*welcome*

I'm sorry your going through this.

How are the kids coping?

It helps to talk.

Yep, this place has been invaluable.  As a man, I don't talk to my male friends ad infinitum about my "feels" and I don't have close female friends.  Even family can't be overburdened.  Here, I have folks that understand and want to talk about these things.

So, thanks everyone. 

Hello OTS,

The truth will ALWAYS set you free!

This site (BPD Famiy) literally saved me! Finding this site was the first step on to the path of truth and healing. I was being manipulated for 20yrs by my uBPDxw. When I started finding out truth about who she was and not who she portayed herself to be I was knocked for a loop and went into a state of depression/PTSD. Finding this site and corresponding with so many people who had eerily similar stories was cathartic for me. I found out that I wasn't going crazy and that my X had serious issues because she was BPD. It also helped me with MY issues. No longer am I a Fixer/Rescuer type. I've actually walked away from relationships because I was able to spot the  red-flag  warning me that something wasn't right about a person and that if I got involved it would be an unhealthy situation. The old me (Pre-BPD Family) would have dove right into those shark infested waters!

I feel for you for what you are going through as you are in the early stages. But rest assured you're among friends here and if you do the work to focus on you and your health you will come out on the other side a much stronger and happier person.

Good Luck to you!

MWC... .*)

It is interesting your observation about losing the ability to write.  I too like to write but could write anything in the months after the split.  Welcome to the site.  It was a life saver for me too.  Thank goodness for the big gift of NC.  Healing was possible once communication with her toxic mind was ended.