BPDFamily.com

This is something Hubby and I talk about often to try and balance the kiddos' time with uBPDew. This article is good. Thoughts on things they should have added?

www.nypost.com/2015/03/11/how-not-to-raise-a-narcissist-in-9-easy-steps/

I think it's a decent article as a starting point, though it doesn't touch upon the origins of NPD.

I say no to my kids all of the time. S5 didn't want to finsh the last page of his homework today. I got tired of asking (here, and old school parent said I made the mistake of not telling). So, no tv, and no going to the park today. No ice cream either, and I said that it was his job to tell the teacher why he chose not to, not mine. If he gets upset, then so be it. I'll validate his emotions, but I'm not going to validate his abdication of his responsibilities.

The ice cream truck rolled by as we were out in the evening on their scooters.

":)addy, I want ice cream."

"I know you want ice cream son, but you didn't do your homework like I asked you earlier."

"But I want ice cream!" He whined, almost crying.

"I know you want ice cream buddy, but you didn't do your homework as you were supposed to do, so you don't get any treats. That's why the tv was off today, too."

No futher argument. Soon after, I put D2 into the bath. S5 was still upset and refused to bathe, being upset on the couch.

"That's fine, buddy, but when D2 is done, I'm draining the water. I'm not pouring more for you. Water is scarce due to the drought."

"Because of no rain."

"That's right, so we don't waste water."

"I still don't want to take a bath!"

"Fine by me, you can take one tomorrow."

I wasn't going to beg, plead, or cajole.

As I was taking D2 out, he finally relented, sensing that he wasn't going to get a rise (drama) out of me. He was calm and cool by the time I put them in bed. I haven't much posted on this board about it, but he reminds me of his mother--- easily triggered and upset.

I recently took a parenting class where one piece of advice was,"act like you know what you're doing even if you don't feel that way." IOW, project leadership.

Last week when I had them, S5 said he didn't want to take a bath at night. He said he had a bath in the morning at his mom's. I asked "why in the morning and not at night?" He replied, "because I said I wanted a bath in the morning." I said, "that's fine at mommy's house, but I'm not going to give you a bath in the morning. If you don't want to take one now, then you can take one tomorrow night as usual." "Ok."

And he did.