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Title: How Many Days Will There Be Like This? Post by: mrwigand on March 15, 2015, 10:43:03 AM I've been broken up with BPDexgf for about one month or so. We ended things on friendly terms, but she did a few things after the breakup that were fairly ignorant of my feelings, so I decided it was important to get some distance and not initiate contact with her. She'll contact me occasionally, and I just keep it light, cordial and brief.
There's just one problem... .She owes me money. 650$ actually, which to me is a significant amount. Why does she owe me money you ask. Well, that's a hilarious story in its own right, but long story short: I bailed her out of jail. Anyway, like I said I've basically been limiting my contact with her to trying to sort out when she is going to pay me back. I've been as gentle, nice, and cool about this as I can, but apparently that's not going to be possible. I was trying to get in touch with her because she said she would pay me back some amount when her IRS refund came in. I texted her with some piece of innocuous small talk just to keep things light and then asked her about the refund. She said it didn't come in but she would pay me 200$ the next day and more when the check did come in. Then she ended with something to the effect of "just ask me... .don't conduct small talk... .", which I responded to really blithely. Anyway, the next day she tells me she's going to drop off the money at my place, and I basically tried to tell her to pass it on to one of my roommates or even to drop it in the mail slot (I didn't really want to meet with her). But she pretty much insists that we meet in person. So, she arrives at my place and I basically have to go meet her in her car. She gives me the money and then goes into this litany against me... .":)on't pretend to care about my life... .You don't treat me like a friend... .I don't know if we're friends and I don't even care... .You're treating me like a collection agency." Ugh... .It was annoying. Does she think I relish having to hassle a "friend" for money after they haven't paid me back for months? Also, her words did hurt. I'm certainly beyond the point where I want to be in a relationship with her or even think a friendship with her is possible in the future, but it still hurts when someone you cared about and invested yourself in emotionally decides to wage emotional warfare against you. I'm hoping that now that she has this out of her system, she'll be amenable to just mailing my money the next time ha! Anyway, just a bad day because of that and I had to get it out lol :) Title: Re: How Many Days Will There Be Like This? Post by: GrowThroughIt on March 15, 2015, 10:57:26 AM I've been broken up with BPDexgf for about one month or so. We ended things on friendly terms, but she did a few things after the breakup that were fairly ignorant of my feelings, so I decided it was important to get some distance and not initiate contact with her. She'll contact me occasionally, and I just keep it light, cordial and brief. There's just one problem... .She owes me money. 650$ actually, which to me is a significant amount. Why does she owe me money you ask. Well, that's a hilarious story in its own right, but long story short: I bailed her out of jail. Anyway, like I said I've basically been limiting my contact with her to trying to sort out when she is going to pay me back. I've been as gentle, nice, and cool about this as I can, but apparently that's not going to be possible. I was trying to get in touch with her because she said she would pay me back some amount when her IRS refund came in. I texted her with some piece of innocuous small talk just to keep things light and then asked her about the refund. She said it didn't come in but she would pay me 200$ the next day and more when the check did come in. Then she ended with something to the effect of "just ask me... .don't conduct small talk... .", which I responded to really blithely. Anyway, the next day she tells me she's going to drop off the money at my place, and I basically tried to tell her to pass it on to one of my roommates or even to drop it in the mail slot (I didn't really want to meet with her). But she pretty much insists that we meet in person. So, she arrives at my place and I basically have to go meet her in her car. She gives me the money and then goes into this litany against me... .":)on't pretend to care about my life... .You don't treat me like a friend... .I don't know if we're friends and I don't even care... .You're treating me like a collection agency." Ugh... .It was annoying. Does she think I relish having to hassle a "friend" for money after they haven't paid me back for months? Also, her words did hurt. I'm certainly beyond the point where I want to be in a relationship with her or even think a friendship with her is possible in the future, but it still hurts when someone you cared about and invested yourself in emotionally decides to wage emotional warfare against you. I'm hoping that now that she has this out of her system, she'll be amenable to just mailing my money the next time ha! Anyway, just a bad day because of that and I had to get it out lol :) Yeah. So things end with her, she does things that are ignorant of your feelings (I know ALL about that and it hurts!), you give her months to pay you back, but sonehow, after all the ___ she's put you through, you're the one that's in the wrong! Why? Because you set some boundaries and stood up to her crap? I have little sympathy for children in an adult body when they behave like YOU'RE in the wrong, and they're just the helpless victims! Title: Re: How Many Days Will There Be Like This? Post by: mrwigand on March 15, 2015, 11:09:03 AM Ha, thanks! Yeah, I know I need to start depersonalizing and just inuring myself to this behavior, but damn it's hard!
Title: Re: How Many Days Will There Be Like This? Post by: brokenbyothers on March 16, 2015, 04:54:55 PM Mine still owes me $1200 for her bail also! LOL and another $350 for my windshield, which she attacked in a drunken rage. she said she would pay me back but never did. I've written it off as I don't want anymore contact with her. If you can get the money get it, let her be held accountable for her mistake. If not, just like me... lesson learned
Title: Re: How Many Days Will There Be Like This? Post by: sun seeker on March 16, 2015, 05:52:08 PM Hey all
screw the money . Look at it like this you paid for a valuable lesson my friend. If you stay in contact "days like this" will never end . I promise you. N/C 100%. Title: Re: How Many Days Will There Be Like This? Post by: Hiker on March 16, 2015, 06:39:41 PM Mine got me financially to the tune of $25,000.00 Ex-wife. I went through the wringer. It was a very expensive lesson.
All of the emotional and mental abuse I endured cost me a lot more in self-esteem. Cut your losses and don't look back. |