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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD => Topic started by: Michi on March 18, 2015, 08:24:02 AM



Title: Liars
Post by: Michi on March 18, 2015, 08:24:02 AM
why do they lie when the truth is so obvious?. do they really believe their own lies?. The truth is so clear yet they will lie to the point that you will doubt your own truth. Its insulting but at the same time you feel the need to explain yourself because you really think you can convince a fool.


Title: Re: Liars
Post by: Kwamina on March 18, 2015, 08:38:37 AM
Hi Michi

How have you been?

Did anything happen recently that makes you ask these questions? Are you referring to specific incidents?


Title: Re: Liars
Post by: funfunctional on March 20, 2015, 02:17:45 PM
Hello,

Someone here put it nicely to me about the truth.   People with BPD often think that what they FEEL is the TRUTH.   My BPD sister thinks that what she says and believes is the truth. 

People lie for various reasons. 

1)  Some people lie becuz to avoid getting in "trouble" or "caught".  Those liars usually know that they are lying. 

2)  Other people lie becuz in their "perspective" that was the reality of the situation.  Like telling a story:  "but I saw that man run out of the store and he stole that" becuz this person believes the behavior of the person running out of the store indicates he stole. That is perspective.

3)  People with BPD lie for sometimes becuz they feel they are getting back at someone who has victimized them.  "I have to lie and I have the right to lie becuz that person hurt me and I am getting them back... .two can play at THAT game".     I have experienced this sort of lying.   My BPD MIL and sister both do this and I know they know they are lying but are OK with that. They are victims and feel justified.

4)  Then there are the BPD people that FEEL therefore it is the TRUTH.   They use their stories to talk badly about someone as it makes them feel better.

I am sure there are other reasons too.

Take care!


Title: Re: Liars
Post by: Linda Maria on March 21, 2015, 01:11:01 PM
Hi Michi.  I am also fascinated by the lying aspect of BPD.  My uBPD sister really turned on me 2 years ago after my Mum passed away.  She made my life hell until I finally went more or less NC and also just used third parties, and a solicitor to handle communications. I thought for ages I was going mad, because of all the lies - they weren't just nasty - they didn't make any sense.  Then there were lies that seemed pointless, and loads that were easily disproved.  She would tell me that the probate solicitor had told her that I had asked for deeds to be put in my name, or various other things - she must have known that I could easily ask the solicitor if she had said these things - obviously she hadn't because they weren't true.  It was the sheer scale and madness of the lying that made me think it must be more than just she really hated me, because I couldn't understand why if I was so terrible she couldn't just leave me alone and stop sending all this hate mail.   That's when I started to make the links, and found out about BPD.  I recently went through the probate solicitors file - she is launching an official complaint against them as well for a bunch of made up idiotic crimes - she thinks they favoured me because when she tried to stop them paying me an equal share (my Mum's will was everything 50/50) and of course they paid us both the same, she then went on to accuse them of all sorts of bizarre things.  The nasty lies have been going on for 2 years now - it seems never ending.  But I still don't get what purpose they serve.