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Why do pwBPD tend to abuse drugs? Is it as simple as them trying to ease their pain and get away from their inner turmoil?

My undiagnosed ex was one of these types of people. She would drink with the sole purpose of getting drunk, and it was easy for her since she was literally a lightweight. Not only that, she would smoke weed at any chance she got. I didn't even know she had been smoking throughout our relationship. Her ex best friend was the one to tell me she was always smoking.

It was a little weird too but she would get drunk and then ask me to have sex with her almost every time. She wanted me to take advantage of her while she was drunk and I was sober. It felt odd to me and made me feel a little guilty as well. Histrionic trait?

Mhmm, just realized this probably belongs in another forum, sorry.

To escape reality rather than get high or drunk to enjoy themselves... .

mine would abuse ambian and alcohol. Her favorite was to mix the two and then want sex around the clock. very strange. For along time i didnt know she was mixing the two I just thought she was drunk. After while I caught. I beleive she also used this as an excuse to act out not only sexually but also for any bad behaviors. I also learned that she was using marijuana behind my back, i dont use drugs of any kind and this would have been a deal breaker for me. she would always admit she liked to smoke marijauna but due to her job she couldnt. later I found that her boss, her best friend also a huge enabler would cover for her on urine screens. later she admitted to me that part of the resaon she liked to go out of town on trips without me was because she could smoke marijuana.

Mine said that when she did MDMA it was the first time she ever felt pretty and loved in her life.  Sad.  No wonder she abused it and other things. 

Chemicals are a way to cope, better living through chemistry.  It's tough having the disorder, life is hell, and borderlines can use all of the psychological defense mechanisms, which we've all experienced, or they can use chemicals as a shortcut.  My ex used religion and ice cream, different drugs, same motivation.  It's helpful to look at what drugs we use, as we detach, heal and grow.

Alcohol and drug abuse is common with people trying to cope with their horrible feelings.  I myself walked that road for a short period before realizing what I was doing.  PwBPD are no different in that aspect.  It is a coping mechanism.  The same goes with sex for some people.

My ex was (is?) a high functioning alcoholic.  Didn't usually get visibly drunk, but drank throughout the day.  Always had a buzz going.  Sex was her other addiction.  I think it made her feel wanted, desired, valuable.  Plus the endorphins didn't hurt.

The whole thing of her being drunk and you being sober may have been an attempt to recreate an earlier trauma.  My ex always wanted me to cover her mouth with my hand, like I was keeping her from making noise.

My udBPDexgf had her prescription for kanlopan increased from 1 pill a day to 3 by a new doctor. So now she would take 4-5 a day when she had a full bottle and taper off as she ran out. she would even try to refill early... almost counting the days til she could. She told me taking that many was a way to escape her pain. Addicted to weed, cigarettes and pain pills also. Any drug she had in quanity she would do as much as possible when the bag was full and then try to conserve if she had no $ to buy more

Also alcohol to excess. Her excuse for excessive abuse was that she was molested as a child and had the same dreams of that every night and needed to pass out. Its funny when we first met she didn't have the dreams but as we became closer it was almost nightly