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Title: Twisted Thinking List Question on B/W thinking. Post by: going places on March 21, 2015, 07:04:47 AM https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=56199.0
What a list! Ex is 9 of 10, and I 'was' 10. Black and White thinking... .I have a question about 'black and white' thinking. There are constants in the world, things that are what they are, no matter how much you do or do not like it. 2+2 will 'always' be 4 2+2 will 'never' be 11. For Believers, there are constants, things that are what they are, no matter how much one does or does not like it. ((I am the QUEEN of the silver lining. No matter the situation, I can always find the silver lining. The canvas of my mind sees bright colors, where the canvas of the ex was black (most of the time).) When a Believer holds fast to Scripture, because their Faith says "This is Absolute Truth, period, the end" the abuser latches onto that and says "see... .see... .you are thinking in black and white. You have no grey area there, and therefore you are being 'black/white'." Which in my humble opinion is ignorant; it's not 'black / white' thinking. It's living out my Faith... . Can anyone help me with this "black white" thinking stuff? Title: Re: Twisted Thinking List Question on B/W thinking. Post by: Notwendy on March 21, 2015, 07:24:30 AM We were bringing up the budget in T and I was talking about money. My H accused me of "black and white" thinking. However the T corrected him and said that I didn't tend to do that. Still, a 5 is a 5, and a 2 is a 2.
I don't think being specific about some things is black and white thinking. Black and white thinking is more of a generalized approach to how one sees things. For instance, if I say no to something, my H sees this as " you are NEVER going to... .visit my parents, have sex, whatever". Now there are things I feel strongly about. I will ( hopefully ) never rob a bank. You feel strongly about your faith, math is math. Some things you can choose to be "black and white" about. The problem, I think, is when one applies this kind of thinking to situations that do not necessarily have to be black or white. If I don't want to visit someone's parents this week, I might next week. It doesn't mean never. Likewise with feelings. If I am angry today, that doesn't mean I am always angry. |