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Title: Finding the teaching moments Post by: qcarolr on March 29, 2015, 04:18:31 PM The following quote was helpful for me to find increased patience today, qcr:
After the meltdowns and chaos, the life-lessons can then be taught. Your children really want to please you and they really do want to be obedient out of love and respect. Give them suggestions, ask them how they could handle it differently, ask them how you as a parent could have handled it differently (they'll love that!), role-play scenarios for future situations, etc. Be patient as it takes repetition, repetition, repetition, to change old patterned ways, especially patterns ways at the body/unconscious level. Press on Carol, Heather T. Forbes, L.C.S.W. author of: Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control, Volumes 1 and 2 Dare to Love www.beyondconsequences.com Title: Re: Finding the teaching moments Post by: qcarolr on March 29, 2015, 04:30:11 PM This lesson applies as much to my own growth and change, as parent and a woman, as it does to others in my life. Especially DD28, gd9 and DH. Now I have allowed a bf to be added into this mix as well.
For myself, I have found ways to overcome my moments of "meltdowns and chaos". This has given me a gift: space to let my DD or gd overcome their's. In the past I so often took 'time-out', and never returned to the topic or drama. Fear of creating or making the situation worse kept me from any hope of making things better. So often I put myself into a victim role. I really appreciate Heather Forbes ":)aily Reflections". Reading it at breakfast with that cup of coffee before getting gd up for school really sets a positive tone for the day. After the school bus comes and dh gets off to work, then I can spend a bit of time in reflection on myself. For me that is contemplation in prayer and scripture daily devotions. How do you find space for allowing teaching moments in your day? qcr Title: Re: Finding the teaching moments Post by: lbjnltx on March 29, 2015, 08:37:39 PM So good to see you here today qcarolr!
I still wake very early (even though I don't have to) and spend time in prayer and remind myself of the blessings of yesterday. I am blessed that my d and I can have real conversations, even in moments when she is emotional and goes to victim mentality I can validate her and ask her a validating question and she comes back to wisemind quickly. What a blessing she is to me. When this happens I am a student and a teacher at that moment. She is teaching me that all things are possible and I am teaching her that she can do whatever she makes a real effort at. We still talk about the "old days" and allow the feelings of being blessed beyond measure by her recovery to wash over us in gratitude and humility. lbj |