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Title: Strange blank texting has stopped Post by: kc sunshine on March 30, 2015, 06:14:34 PM For about two weeks my BPD ex would send me a blank text a few times a day. Now they've stopped coming and I miss them! Strange how our brains work, no? That even a blank text could feel like a connection, one that would hurt when it is severed... .
Do others have experiences similar to this one? Title: Re: Strange blank texting has stopped Post by: Mister Brightside on March 30, 2015, 06:30:50 PM I haven't had an exact experience like that, but I'm not surprised at all that you felt some sort of loss after s/he stopped. There's always that hope in the back of our minds that those with BPD will come to their senses. It's easy to be in denial when we want something so badly (a return to the idealization stage), and even some form of connection to them "helps" some of us cope (provided the connection isn't extremely negative). It probably gave you a sense that s/he was still thinking about you, and now you're left wondering even more what is on his/her mind.
Even after the BPD I was involved with latched onto a former ex, she'd still act like it was an insult to her if I called her a friend, as her former ex is married, and she was keeping me around just in case. When she stopped being bothered that I was ignoring her, I kind of felt like you do, that she must have stopped caring, even if that caring was a very, very unhealthy method of keeping an eye on us. Title: Re: Strange blank texting has stopped Post by: hurting300 on March 30, 2015, 06:38:55 PM Text him back then. And how can you send blank texts. I've never had a phone let me do that lol.
Title: Re: Strange blank texting has stopped Post by: kc sunshine on March 30, 2015, 06:51:16 PM Text him back then. And how can you send blank texts. I've never had a phone let me do that lol. I know, strange huh? I didn't know you could do that either! She denied sending them, saying it must be a mistake, but i got them two or three times a day... . Title: Re: Strange blank texting has stopped Post by: kc sunshine on March 30, 2015, 07:00:24 PM Oh, I see how you do it... .you just type "space" in a couple of times and then hit send... .(I would rather not have that knowledge lol lol lol)
Title: Re: Strange blank texting has stopped Post by: kc sunshine on March 30, 2015, 07:02:12 PM Mister Brightside, I think you are right about my missing the texts being linked to some lingering hope... .it takes a while, no?
Title: Re: Strange blank texting has stopped Post by: Mister Brightside on March 30, 2015, 07:18:37 PM Mister Brightside, I think you are right about my missing the texts being linked to some lingering hope... .it takes a while, no? Takes awhile to completely lose the hope and move on? Is that what you are asking? Personally I'm only on about day 10 of no contact, which isn't very long at all, so unfortunately I can't give a very good report about how long it would take, but a lot of it has to do with how long your relationship lasted, and how poorly you were treated. Mind you, I was also involved with a BPD 10 years ago, and it was a lot more intense than this recent situation, and it took several months for me to return to myself. I'm not saying to rush into a relationship, but I think once you find a new person, that helps a lot. That was a turning point for me 10 years ago. Now I'm trying to heal myself enough to be able to throw myself out there again. Title: Re: Strange blank texting has stopped Post by: Rifka on March 31, 2015, 07:49:39 AM Text him back then. And how can you send blank texts. I've never had a phone let me do that lol. A blank text is just going to write one but put no context and hit send anyway. I have done many by mistake because of my long nails. Never to my ex! It's part of control and more mind games when done on purpose to keep you attached. Responding in anyway in my opinion is not a good idea unless you want to recycle possibly again. Rifka Title: Re: Strange blank texting has stopped Post by: kc sunshine on March 31, 2015, 09:21:02 AM Text him back then. And how can you send blank texts. I've never had a phone let me do that lol. A blank text is just going to write one but put no context and hit send anyway. I have done many by mistake because of my long nails. Never to my ex! It's part of control and more mind games when done on purpose to keep you attached. Responding in anyway in my opinion is not a good idea unless you want to recycle possibly again. Rifka Rifka, you're the best! I'm not responding but am surprised how effective it was in keeping me tied to her... .it hurts like I'm on the first few days of NC again, even though the contact was only those blank texts... . Title: Re: Strange blank texting has stopped Post by: Rifka on March 31, 2015, 01:31:07 PM Text him back then. And how can you send blank texts. I've never had a phone let me do that lol. A blank text is just going to write one but put no context and hit send anyway. I have done many by mistake because of my long nails. Never to my ex! It's part of control and more mind games when done on purpose to keep you attached. Responding in anyway in my opinion is not a good idea unless you want to recycle possibly again. Rifka Rifka, you're the best! I'm not responding but am surprised how effective it was in keeping me tied to her... .it hurts like I'm on the first few days of NC again, even though the contact was only those blank texts... . KC, You're welcome! This is why if we can get the strength when we have no children or finances or marraige involved to go complete N/c, it could be easier to start a true healing process. Rifka |