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I had an issue last weekend where my uBPDbf got mad at me over taking the wrong AC adapter and refused to take me with him to a service call for his job. He asked me to leave his house for a few hours so as to not bother his roommate. Problem was, he talked to the roommate about it before me, talking about me in way I didn't appreciate,  like he doesn't have the time to 'babysit me' since I might mess something up for him. I felt berated and betrayed and so a confrontation between us ensued. He got angrier and started to pack my stuff up for me, telling me to leave, period. I rebuffed his request. Begged him to stop and all. He went as far as to say he'll call the cops.

I'm going to say that I didn't really see the situation objectively and rationally. He simply wanted me to leave for a bit, there was nothing malevolent about it. I didn't realise it until it was too late, but I knew very well that whatever he was angry about, it would boil over very quickly and it wasn't a serious fight.

I just wanted him to stop the outburst, and unfortunately this has been my go-to coping mechanism, and it's not a very good one. He just wanted space and to make sure that his roommate wouldn't be involved in the drama.

Too late.

Suddenly his roommate started screaming at me, from the other room: "He told you to leave. Just stop with this bull___ and leave. I have no issues with you being here but this is also his house and you're his guest and if he asks you to leave, you leave. I am only have two days a week free and I'm tired of this drama infested bull___. I've never seen him this angry, so you better just go."

I apologised instantly and said I'd go. I can do as I want with my bf, but his roommate is the one renting the place out to him so I definitely don't want to mess that up for him. I left for the nearest store

I got a text from him. "I just needed you to leave."

I texted back apologising for allowing things to escalate that far and not being rational enough in the moment. I told him where I'd be.

He drove up to where I was parked, gave me my laptop and hugged me very tightly, seeing how shaken up I was. Told me his roommate would be out by 9 and then we could hang out, if I decided I wanted to stay over.

I need to stop with the emotional confrontations for one.

The issue in all this is that when he asks me to leave, he rarely means it. It's usually a bluff. It's something both of us have tolerated for way too long. I have a long distance to drive back home, so I am reluctant to do so. I am SCARED that he will actually abandon me. It's like, I know he will get over whatever is going on soon, so that disinclines me from actually leaving.

I'm literally afraid of setting limits and boundaries because I'm afraid the relationship will fall apart. I'm afraid of having to move on without him.

Like last week, we were doing fine, then suddenly I sat on his keyboard because he puts it on his bed. He got angry and threw it on the floor. I sat back on the bed, barely acknowledging what happened. Turns out his mouse was right behind me. He threw that too. I walked out. I'm guessing the fact that I feel like he overreacts, and simply didn't acknowledge my mistake or his frustration left him feeling invalidated and miserable. He got angrier than ever and told me he doesn't want to be with me anymore because I do things like that and don't think it's a big deal, despite him asking me a multitude of times to be careful. Cue two hours of him expressing his misery and disenchantment with our relationship and now intimacy and telling me to leave and not bother coming back.

I should be more careful, but everything seems to turn into this sort of fight/outburst. He incessantly criticises me and berates every mistake Ive ever made. He doesn't feel I'll ever change. He pretty much told me straight out that by not leaving when he's asked me to, I'm manipulating him into letting go of his anger and settling on staying with me, because I know eventually he'll calm down. Then he's going to be stuck with me for another night and pretend everything is fine. 

He tells me that he looks forward to seeing me all week long, but then once I come up, something happens, I mess something up and he's miserable again and frustrated with me, so he doesnt' think this relationship will last.

I guess the main thing here is, he's unhappy. He liked the novelty of our relationship when it started, but he doesn't know how to deal with the decreasing passion as time goes on. He relates those feelings to me causing them, but they are very much his own, rooted in something much deeper. He's never been with anyone for so long and says that maybe he's not meant to be with anyone for so long. He told me that he thinks that maybe we should break up for a year and then get back together and that things will become better in that way.

He used to think about being together but now he doesn't look forward to me moving closer.