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Anyone notice any changes in their pwBPD within the last few weeks solar and lunar eclipses 03/20/15 and 04/04/2015)?  My expwBPD always acted out during the spring, broke up twice with me in the spring in two consecutive years.  Weird question but thought I'd ask.

Not around eclipses no. But mine broke up with me on the same day in spring 2 years running.

Google seasonal mania. Its an interesting topic. I learned about it in a psych course. Essentially as the daylight levels drop there is not enough serotonin and other neurotransmitters produced so the brain undergoes neural pruning of auxiliary synapses on its neurons. (Think of it as closing the doors to bedrooms in your house that you don't use because you can't afford to heat them.)

Then around the equinox when daylight levels change rapidly the brain has sudden rises in neurotransmitter levels but only primary synapses to shunt and store it in vesicles on the cell membrane. (Think of it as suddenly cranking the thermostat to its highest setting and sweating in the few remaining rooms of your house because the heat can't spread to the bedrooms with the shut doors.) Thus the flood of  neurotransmitters rising due to increased light levels triggers a seasonal type mania.

This mania can be expressed in many ways from spending sprees to raging and promiscuity. The point is they have to "blow off" neurotransmitter steam so to speak and use them up. (Think opening a window while you sweat in your living room to bleed off some of the excess heat.)

As the summer continues brain plasticity restores activity in the auxiliary synapses until there is enough in use to accommodate the higher neurotransmitter levels again. Thus by fall they are more stable and in a better head space. (Think slowly crawling around your house and cracking each bedroom door open an inch at a time over a long time period until all the heat finally evens out.)

So the researchers found that it didn't matter if the light levels were high or low as long as they were consistent. It was the change that messed with peoples heads. This is separate and different from seasonal affective disorder. This seasonal mania as they termed it impacts people with various mental illnesses. It seems to dramatically affect anyone with a mental illness that involves secondary protein signals in the cell membrane. This may be because we make more of these proteins to send cell signals when we are using them more and break them down when we are not. So it takes our bodies time to rebuild them after they have been out of use for awhile.

The research indicated the phenomena can be found in many regions but those living in Northern regions and with time changes like daylight savings time can be severely impacted. So when my ex flipped out every first week of May it may have been a contributing factor.  :light: Or it could all be my fault as per him.   :sign_attn: lol Both hypothesis are worth disproving.  :)

Ok enough science stuff. I just miss science classes and my brain is starving. If I were a zombie I"d eat all the scientists first so I could know what they do.

Hugs.  

Awesome response!  Most days I am doing better as she left me last March and i was replaced in late May.  I was a basketcase til late December... .almost there now but I still think of her and my replacement, almost wishing the same thing would happen this spring with my replacement.  Not proud of that thought but feel like I can be honest here.  Last year and the year before, spring was brutal for me. 

Yup the first spring I was the replacement (and he was on meds which undoubtedly helped stabilize him).

The next spring he texted me how loved I was in the morning and broke up by text later. Told me he couple come home and have sex with me one more time but then he was gone for good. Needless to say he didn't get laid. lol

The follow spring he withdrew and devalued again and then raged several times then called me unthinkable things and cut all contact. This was the same week he told me how much he loved me.

Ugg.

It just has to be easier than that. I can't live that way. I miss him. I cry for him (just did in fact). But overall I need peace and he isn't that. He is chaos and terror and sorrow and exquisite pain. Oh the exquisite pain. Perhaps I shall miss that most of all.

Thanks for appreciating the science stuff. My brain really is starving. I went on a date recently and realized after I went home that i basically grilled the poor guy about everything he knew about everything. LOL poor bugger. I will have to call and apologize. I am starved for mental stimulus.

Oh yes and i meant to say I sometimes wish for him and the replacement to blow apart too. He has already been on POF while bragging her up all over Facebook so it can't be that good but she is in her first spring and he is on meds and in therapy again so who knows. I should be happy for him but mostly I am sad for me. I miss my best friend.