|
Title: Feeling vulnerable,one months N/c going to waste after encounter with my ex Post by: Kasina on April 07, 2015, 12:17:24 PM Hello everyone ,
My bf broke up me with two months ago,I have been nC with him since 1 month.i was trying to detach and was doing ok until I saw him at a mutual friends place.he didn't see me so I left and got back home since then I have been having mixed feelings... I just want him back I keep reminding myself that he was no good for me and it ended for the best but nothing seems to help... I just want him to want me back ... What we had was worth holding on to... I never wanted to break up with him but I am left when he pushed me out of his life as I had no other choice ... deep down I want to give it a chance to make it work ... I know I can not make him Come back but what I can do till then? Title: Re: Feeling vulnerable,one months N/c going to waste after encounter with my ex Post by: Aurylian on April 07, 2015, 12:22:18 PM I know I can not make him Come back but what I can do till then? Take the time to get healthy. Can you see a therapist and work through the past relationship? If you do want to get back together you should make sure it is for the right reasons and you know what you are getting into. I was charmed back into a relationship in the past by FOG. I wasn't ready to come back and it ended up being a real mess. If I would have taken the time to work on my own codependency it might have actually worked. If you think you might want to reenter the relationship, then I would spend a lot of time on the Lessons section here so that you can come back healthy and be able to manage the relationship. Have you had a chance to look at the lessons section? Title: Re: Feeling vulnerable,one months N/c going to waste after encounter with my ex Post by: Kasina on April 07, 2015, 01:17:32 PM I know I can not make him Come back but what I can do till then? Take the time to get healthy. Can you see a therapist and work through the past relationship? If you do want to get back together you should make sure it is for the right reasons and you know what you are getting into. I was charmed back into a relationship in the past by FOG. I wasn't ready to come back and it ended up being a real mess. If I would have taken the time to work on my own codependency it might have actually worked. If you think you might want to reenter the relationship, then I would spend a lot of time on the Lessons section here so that you can come back healthy and be able to manage the relationship. Have you had a chance to look at the lessons section? thank you aury,for the reply .i have been thinking about a T but its not really feasible for my at this moment.i have been trading lessons over staying and improving r/s and on detaching board... I keep reading according the way I feel and what I need help with but then I end up being do confused about my feelings as I don't want to be stuck waiting for him on the other hand I m not ok with breaking things up with him... What lessons should I read in order to get healthy but not giving up him in the process... Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated... Title: Re: Feeling vulnerable,one months N/c going to waste after encounter with my ex Post by: Aurylian on April 07, 2015, 02:06:24 PM What lessons should I read in order to get healthy but not giving up him in the process... Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated... I think I would focus on Radical Acceptance--about what you can realistically expect from the relationship. Also really build up your knowledge of Boundaries, to protect you and keep your stuff on your side of the fence and allow his stuff to be on his side. Understanding Validation and Invalidation is great for helping you communicate with anyone, but required reading for communicating with a pwBPD. Those are the areas I would start with. |