BPDFamily.com

New to this and we'll I can't say my story even eclipses some of the horror stories I've read, I can say however that as is normally the case really didn't figure out I was was dealing with BPD till after she left. After being dragged through the ringer during the breakup I decided as you guys and nearly everyone has suggested to implementing no contact.

Which in true form was broken by her days after she left on my birthday with a happy birthday and I wish you happiness (which is funny bc this all nearly put me over the edge). Which I managed to ignore bc I knew it was a self serving text which if I responded with thanks would validate that the breakup was mature or even the least bit "normal". Suffice to say I didn't hear anything for nearly a month till recently when i received a text wishing me we'll (again funny bc of the whole putting me through hell thing) and then stating she missed our pet so much and wondering if she could come see it.

Needless to say I find this baffling as she's the one who walked out on me and the pet included. And judging by how abnormal the breakup was and the rage I was subjected to on the way out, not to mention the 2.5yrs of turmoil' she somehow now deems it normal that she could just breeze by and see the pet?

Obviously I ignored this text but my question is this. Is this one of those recycling attempts I've read about? Does ignoring normally cause escalation? I have a funny feeling the next thing I'll hear maybe rage?

It's hard to say what a person will do next. ... .but I would say that you are doing the right thing for you by maintaining no response. My experience would be that pwBPD are extremely immature and do no realize that there are consequences for their actions. ... and if yours is anything like mine, you will be blamed for any discomfort or consequences that they face.

Worst part of this cycle is just that. Get used to no contact then boom contact. Completely irrelevant text what's next. Just bracing and praying now it's followed by heavy attilery (raging hurtful) texts.

Spot on in not realizing consequences of things. Floors me to no end they expect logical responses/reactions following their illogical actions

My experience would be that I am dealing with a selfish 7-yr. old emotionally wrapped in the body of an adult woman. 

She is trying to get a reaction out of you. Her very next tool could very well be rage. Or it could be to play upon your sympathy. Or it could be to play upon your anger. Or it could be to play upon your kindness. Or etc. You cannot control what she does or says. You can only control yourself. Believe that whatever she does, it is to meet her own selfish needs. That selfishness may indeed be driven by BPD, but it is selfishness none the less.

They, a pwBPD, will try to reestablish contact, an attachment, with whatever means necessary. I walked out of my unhealthy 8 month long relationship with my BPDexgf in early Feb. I left without giving a reason. She had me triangulated with her exbf. I knew about it and expressed my displeasure about said deplorable behavior. She didn't correct herself as she saw nothing wrong with keeping the exbf around. One night I had a moment of clarity and terminated all communications with her. She is still weekly texting me even though she has a replacement. She doesn't care one bit about me; she wants our attachment reestablished.