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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD => Topic started by: Optimistic7 on April 12, 2015, 03:50:33 PM



Title: I need answers
Post by: Optimistic7 on April 12, 2015, 03:50:33 PM
So whoever is reading this I'm starting to feel stuck.   My mom has always had her moments but after a few years her personality is totally different and much worse. I do everything I can for her and somehow she still says I'm no use. I don't wanna believe she has an disorder but she really does show every trait listed. No joke . Things are either hot or cold with her . I ask her how things went at her doctors exams and she tells me "nothing" or "idk" . moments later she"ll say things like "expect me to die soon". Or "no one can help me".  Her way of thinking is no longer logical in my eyes , it's hard to keep conversation . All she talks about are depressing things or gossip and talk about others and these are things getting out of hand to a point she ruined many friendships . She treats my father and brother like they don't matter as well . I don't wanna put it all out their but matters are kinda worse than I can explain and I really need help on understanding how to deal with this . As I also fear if I bring this up to her it would only spark a negative reaction


Title: Re: I need answers
Post by: Rapt Reader on April 13, 2015, 09:55:32 AM
Hi, Optimistic7 & *welcome*

I'm so sorry that you and your family has this stress and hurtfulness to deal with, and we really do understand your confusion and pain... .I'm so happy you found us! If you are looking for ways to learn how to deal with this, you have found the right place 

Have you had the chance to check out the links to the right-hand side of this page yet? We also have several Feature Articles that are linked to under the 4 photos at the top of the Coping and Healing Board's thread listing page (or you can find them here: When a sibling or parent has Borderline Personality Disorder (https://bpdfamily.com/portfolio-parent)). One of those Articles--Emotional Blackmail: Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG) (https://bpdfamily.com/content/emotional-blackmail-fear-obligation-and-guilt-fog)--would be something that I think would help you understand your entanglement with your Mom, but all of them would be very helpful for you, Optimistic7.

Do you still live at home? Do you interact with your Mom every day? How do your Dad and Brother deal with things? Are the 3 of you able to console and help each other? I would like to encourage you to read all you can on this site, and post more of your story and ask your question... .We would love to help, Optimistic7