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Title: On the Road to Recovery ~ Post by: Fiona on April 12, 2015, 10:39:31 PM When I separated from my husband 2 years ago after 14 years of marriage and a 20 year relationship full
of drama and conflict, and also some of the most joyous times of my life, a volcano went off in our lives that I am only now beginning to recover from. I had vaguely heard of BPD at the time and knew he had abandonment issues but had no idea what was ahead of me: hacking into my email, tracking devices on my car, endless accusations and emails, restraint orders, thousands and thousands of dollars in legal fees and so many people traumatized in the process. We have one adult daughter and I am grateful there are no ongoing custody issues. I am grateful to read other people's stories and would welcome any information about support groups that actually meet in the Bay Area, especially for those whose exes or partners don't believe there is anything wrong with them. Title: Re: On the Road to Recovery ~ Post by: mitatsu on April 13, 2015, 03:44:25 PM Just a quick to you and welcome to the group
so glad your feeling positive about recovery and want to wish you the best on your path stay strong we are all here for you Title: Re: On the Road to Recovery ~ Post by: Lucky Jim on April 13, 2015, 04:59:23 PM Hi Fiona, Two years ago, my BPDxW and I divorced after a 16-year marriage, so I can relate to your situation. Drama and conflict are hallmarks of a r/s with a pwBPD, that's for sure. My Ex hacked into my email account, too, so I had to laugh when reading that yours did the same! Glad to hear you are on the Road to Recovery. LuckyJim
Title: Re: On the Road to Recovery ~ Post by: Mutt on April 13, 2015, 06:28:35 PM Hi Fiona,
*welcome* I'm sorry you had to go through that. The break-ups are painful, chaotic and confusing. I'm glad that you have found us. Many members here share similar stories. It helps to talk. Hang in there. ----Mutt Title: Re: On the Road to Recovery ~ Post by: ReclaimingMyLife on April 13, 2015, 10:07:52 PM Fiona, hate to hear what you are going through. I have been dealing with stalking and harassment myself. Is that still continuing in your life?
If so, the book The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker absolutely saved my sanity. My situation is different for sure (8 month relationship vs long term marriage with kids), but I turned to that book time and time again. It helped me stay the NC course. I have the electronic version available on my phone so could reach for it wherever I was. The other thing that helped me was charting the situation. I have an excel spreadsheet where I document his behavior and mine. It was so affirming to see my side piling up with "No Response" line after line. No matter what he did... .threatening or not... .no response, no response (I realize this may be different in your situation). My sisters helped. I sent them the updated list and giving them a daily report helped keep me strong. If it helps, one of my sisters is a psychologist. She knew all the details of his behavior and she never thought of BPD. But as soon as I suggested it, she was like BINGO. So, you are not crazy. Even professionals miss this. Title: Re: On the Road to Recovery ~ Post by: Fiona on April 17, 2015, 08:26:54 PM Many thanks to you all for the support and suggestions... . greatly appreciated!
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