BPDFamily.com

Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: mitatsu on April 13, 2015, 06:32:21 AM



Title: Social Media and other methods 'blacking/smearing'
Post by: mitatsu on April 13, 2015, 06:32:21 AM
So i've become the target of this so she can play the victim and shes saying some nasty things and it has been a wee bit successful for her i've kept silent but am a lil concerned that my lack of response is working against me... now my question is do i make a statement via my own social media etc what are your experiences ? 


Title: Re: Social Media and other methods 'blacking/smearing'
Post by: Infared on April 13, 2015, 06:57:05 AM
There seem to be two schools of thought on that... .attack or do nothing... .(including not reading or asking about anything that they are doing or saying).

I am of the second school. Mine was a thin, tall extremely cute young lady, who was an EXPERT at playing victim. EXPERT.  An expert liar, as well.

I would have been a total fool to go up against that... .I had to just stay total NC, move on with my life,  and direct my energies toward healthy things in "my" life.  Fighting the cute, convincing mentally ill victim was going to get me where, exactly?

Sad... but that was my take on it.

I know that other's situations are different and/or they take the other approach. Sometimes the other method has merit... .every situation is different.


Title: Re: Social Media and other methods 'blacking/smearing'
Post by: enlighten me on April 13, 2015, 07:05:49 AM
If it was directed straight at me I would call them on it. I would respond by saying that I dont know what they are trying to achieve but if the lies and slander dont stop then the truth can be got to legally.

This would have two effects. First it would show everyone you had nothing to hide if your willing to go to court over it. Secondly if she stops posting then it will make people think she was lieing. Only a few would get sucked in to still believing her but there will be doubt in their minds and her future behaviour will no doubt make them change their mind.


Title: Re: Social Media and other methods 'blacking/smearing'
Post by: .cup.car on April 13, 2015, 07:50:17 AM
I made sure my story got out first, and had the Facebook/text messages to back it up.

Was pretty hard for her to say we never dated and I'm a crazy stalker when I had pages of her obsessive texts to me uploaded for the world to see.

Mean? Well certainly not everyone will be comfy sinking to that level but in the long run it saved my *** so many times.

PM me if you want more details.


Title: Re: Social Media and other methods 'blacking/smearing'
Post by: going places on April 13, 2015, 07:54:24 AM
Social media... .I'm not a fan.

I would sit down, face to face, with your friends and family, and have an honest discussion with them about the things "they will read".

If someone is posting "slander" and "defaming your character" there are legal ramifications.

My advice is don't get sucked into the banter.

Have a face to face w/ friends and family.

Speak the truth.

BLOCK her from ALL social media.

or

Take her to court in a civil suit.


Title: Re: Social Media and other methods 'blacking/smearing'
Post by: Mutt on April 13, 2015, 09:32:58 AM
Successful with her FB followers?


Title: Re: Social Media and other methods 'blacking/smearing'
Post by: adventurer on April 13, 2015, 10:41:10 AM
I've seen some advise on here to temporarily deactivate your facebook account for awhile.  Not sure how integral it is to your life/lifestyle but maybe something worth considering.


Title: Re: Social Media and other methods 'blacking/smearing'
Post by: .cup.car on April 13, 2015, 10:50:47 AM
Social media... .I'm not a fan.

I would sit down, face to face, with your friends and family, and have an honest discussion with them about the things "they will read".

If someone is posting "slander" and "defaming your character" there are legal ramifications.

My advice is don't get sucked into the banter.

Have a face to face w/ friends and family.

Speak the truth.

BLOCK her from ALL social media.

or

Take her to court in a civil suit.

I tried this. Got to listen to her dad say how she's some perfect angel who didn' do nuffin'. And if you're a dude, civil court outright won't listen to you.

I had 75 pages worth of harassing messages but nope, finger was pointed at me cause she cried to daddy.


Title: Re: Social Media and other methods 'blacking/smearing'
Post by: apollotech on April 13, 2015, 02:56:19 PM
My BPDexgf ran a smear campaign against me on FB, but I was never named in said campaign. As a result of not bring called out, I never addressed the allegations. I simply let them die.

The campaign used completely false logic to absolve her of all responsibilities for her actions/behaviors. Basically she presented me with unacceptable behavior which prompted my leaving the relationship and going silent (this was the beginning of our first recycle). Her smear campaign excluded her behavior, and simply had me spotlighted as the bad guy and her leaving because of my bad behavior. She was the Victim to my completely unfounded Persecution. God had shown her the light regarding my wickedness; therefore, He allowed her escape. God is, of course, the Rescuer/Enabler in said triangle.

Again, this was done on FB where we share many mutual friends, many of which go back to our mutual childhood. If she would have named me, I would have had to defend myself. But rather than attacking her outright, which would have only relegated me to her level, I would have added her behavior into the equation and thereby, fashioned her illogic and half truths into logic and the full truth. Full transparency would have quickly brought her half truth into the light. Explaining the mechanics/workings of said triangle would have quickly shed light upon her illogic and manipulation. That could all be achieved without ever pointing out that she was completely assizing one of the most very basic tenets of Christian teaching: God loves ALL of His children.

If you decide to defend yourself via offense in a public forum, be sure that you dismantle her argument(s) rather than her. If she is speaking half truths and using illogical means to manipulate and cast herself as the victim, consider attacking her tools, rather than her directly. Always keep credibity and goodwill on your side. The truth will always paint her into a corner.


Title: Re: Social Media and other methods 'blacking/smearing'
Post by: mitatsu on April 13, 2015, 03:02:29 PM
Thanks for your advice my friends... .i'm going to stay quiet but will tell anyone who ask's my version of her truth