|
Title: Just seperated from a BPD Common-law partner Post by: Puchi on April 13, 2015, 04:01:42 PM My Ex-common-law partner has BPD. We have been separated for 2 months.
He has cheated on me and he did not confess to me until I found out and presented him with evidence. I'm trying to figure out what I could have done to help him. I've noticed a change in behavior when he started seeing this other girl at his work; I trusted him so I didn't even suspect that he was cheating on me. But I asked him, if there was something he wanted to talk about or if there's something he is hiding from me. He said No. Now that I found out, I feel like I'm going through a divorce. I am deeply hurt. Every time I talk to him all I can do is accuse him for lying to me. I know he is hurt and he cannot figure out why he had done so, but I saw messages he sent to this girl about how he loved her and Sexting... . I feel so lost. Last time I spoke to him, I asked him, what he is thinking, he just stops talking. He never expresses his feelings. But after I had asked him, why he lied to me again, He finally said that I never noticed him suffer all these months and I was never there for him. I just feel that every time I bring up any sensitive issues, he would just shut me out so I don't know what else I could have done. I always assured him that I loved him and if he needed me for anything I'm always there for him. Now he has lost so much weight but we are no longer together and I'm so worried about his well being. is there anything I could do to help him? Title: Re: Just seperated from a BPD Common-law partner Post by: Loosestrife on April 13, 2015, 04:34:37 PM My Ex-common-law partner has BPD. We have been separated for 2 months. He has cheated on me and he did not confess to me until I found out and presented him with evidence. I'm trying to figure out what I could have done to help him. I've noticed a change in behavior when he started seeing this other girl at his work; I trusted him so I didn't even suspect that he was cheating on me. But I asked him, if there was something he wanted to talk about or if there's something he is hiding from me. He said No. Now that I found out, I feel like I'm going through a divorce. I am deeply hurt. Every time I talk to him all I can do is accuse him for lying to me. I know he is hurt and he cannot figure out why he had done so, but I saw messages he sent to this girl about how he loved her and Sexting... . I feel so lost. Last time I spoke to him, I asked him, what he is thinking, he just stops talking. He never expresses his feelings. But after I had asked him, why he lied to me again, He finally said that I never noticed him suffer all these months and I was never there for him. I just feel that every time I bring up any sensitive issues, he would just shut me out so I don't know what else I could have done. I always assured him that I loved him and if he needed me for anything I'm always there for him. Now he has lost so much weight but we are no longer together and I'm so worried about his well being. is there anything I could do to help him? Hi, Sorry you are going trough such a painful time. Do you think he has BPD? Why are uoy worried about his well being? Title: Re: Just seperated from a BPD Common-law partner Post by: Puchi on April 13, 2015, 06:19:31 PM He told me he has BPD and he said that I should've been more understanding.
I'm worried about him because I still have feelings for him and also because he's losing so much weight. I think he wants to separate from me... but knowing that he has BPD I don't know what is actually going through his mind... . I know when we were together he has had suicidal thoughts and been cutting himself. I'm just really worried about him because he lives away from his family and close friends and he had the tendency to shut people out and not seek help. |