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Me and my husband sometimes take our dogs to my mom's house and a couple weeks ago our dog decided to jump off of a retaining wall and she hurt herself. My husband swears up and down that she broke something. We have took her to two vets and both of them have said give her time, they don't think she broke anything. My husband has not dropped it, she is still not walking normally and she can't run. She is hurt obviously but basically time is what is going to heal her, this is what both vets said. We could not have an xray done on the first vet because their machine was broken. The second vet didn't think it was necessary. She is walking, she can even jump, she just needs some time to be 100%. And obviously my husband is impatient with time. He thinks she should be running right now, not a month from now.

Now here is what I am having problems with, my husband seems to think because she got injured on  my mom's property she should pay for the vet bills. My mom did not ask us to bring our dogs, she did not make the dog jump off the wall. This is not her responsibility to pay for it. My husband keeps saying it is her fault and she should pay for the vet bills and states he is extremely mad. I have been Validating, I have told him discussion is closed, he keeps bringing it back up. I do not want him to go off on my mom about this. So far he hasn't. This is really stressing me out.

Hello C.D.,

Definitely not your Mom's fault. I think it's great that you have kept your boundaries up with this issue. Don't cave in to letting him harass your Mom! Also, why wouldn't two separate vets know what they are talking about? They are licensed professionals, with years of training and experience. Stand your ground, state your boundaries and maybe come up with a plan for if he goes off and gets violent, etc.

I don't think he is going to go off and get violent, he will just keep bringing it up. He gets an idea stuck in his mind and he doesn't let it go. For the longest time he claimed something was wrong with his back. He gets scans done by a doctor, nothing was wrong. He doesn't believe the doctor and goes to another one and asks for a different part of his back to be scanned. They do the scan, nothing was wrong once again. He doesn't believe either of them and wants it done again. He has let that go but this is how he works. She is walking and jumping, she is ok. I do not want him to bring this up with my mom, I don't really have control over it if he does talk to her about it. She has been through so much and she doesn't need this nonsense thrown at her. We got into an argument about it last night. Her leg was stuck in the couch and she struggled to get up. I stated her leg was stuck in the couch and helped her get unstuck, he went off on me saying that I don't know what I am talking about and she is never going to be right again. I eventually explained to him that I know she is still hurt, it's going to take some time for her to heal. It may not be as quickly as we would like it. I basically went to bed and left him pissed off at me.

Sounds almost like a compulsiveness on his part. I have a little of that myself. Maybe just give your Mom a heads-up, so that she can get ready to deflect him. Just something simple. Keep those boundaries up. It's the main thing that has worked for me. :)