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I have heard that DBT helps. I would like to hear about how it works and what I can expect. I know that I can't expect a miracle and that there is work to do on my part as well. I would love to hear some success stories.  :)

Hi bluejeans, 

You have heard right, DBT does help and is considered one of the most effective treatments for people with BPD (pwBPD).

The acronym DBT means dialectical behavioral therapy.  According to Marsha Linehan, the founder of DBT, it is a broad-based cognitive behavioral therapy that consists of individual psychotherapy, group skills training, telephone coaching, and a therapist consultation team (2015).

DBT is based on dialects and biosocial theory of psychological disorder. It emphasizes the difficulty of regulating emotions, under and over control, (emotional dysregulation) and behavior. DBT skills are geared towards patterns of instability of emotional regulation, impulse control, interpersonal relationships, and self-image.  The core of DBT is aimed at improving these areas. Specifically, DBT skills training helps individuals change behavioral, emotional, thinking, and interpersonal problems(Linehan, 2015).

DBT skills are divided into two categories:  acceptance skills and change skills; both reflect the premise of dialectics.  Acceptance skills are for pwBPD to accept themselves how they are through mindfulness and distress tolerance.  Change skills are the need for the pwBPD to change through emotional regulation and interpersonal effectiveness.





Linehan, M. (2015).  DBT Skills Training Manual 2nd Ed.  NY, NY: Guilford Press.

Thanks, EaglesJuju. I have been reading a lot about it. My SO has agreed to start but not until June (after her big exam). I would love to hear any personal experiences from this group - how did it start off, did you see improvement right away, did they find it difficult and challenging, were they hopeful, did you go to family DBT sessions, etc.?

my friend is in dbt-therapy for 4 months now, at a ratio of 3 sessions a week.

it is expected that it will take him 6 months to work through it

I have the impression that it works because he is much more agreeable lately, however I don't know if this is due to the therapy or because of all the guidance and attention he is receiving constantly... .

according to him the therapy is interesting on a theoretic level but he finds it difficult to live to it in his actions, but I think he is learning a lot and is much more aware of his emotions and his actions

I have no idea how much he will integrate later in his life on a continuous level though.

Hey bluejeans:

My wife has been in DBT therapy for the past two years now. I can honestly say it's helped her quite a bit. If there is one focus that has really helped her it is 'mindfullness.' A big part of the program.

It's centered on staying in the moment and focusing on your surroundings, reactions and emotions.

From what once would have been a situation that would have spiralled totally out of control she can see when she's 'losing it' and recover really quickly and take a step back and out of the derailment. The real pleasant thing is for the most part she will actually come back shortly after and apologize. Of course I tell her there isn't a need and confirm how darn well  she's doing.

It can certainly make a huge difference. I can't say my wife is entirely engaged because I know she's given 'home work' but doesn't do it, however there is real progress and real hope for her improving her emotional states and identifying what's really necessary in her mind and what isn't to focus on. Small steps and look for small improvements in the beginning though bluejeans and take real hope and remember to positively comment on progress in a meaningful way that isn't intrusive to your partner.  - nothing happens overnight. But after a lot of nights I really hope you do see progress.

Breathing excersizes and meditation is a big part. I know my wife hasn't ventured into meditation though. I've done meditation since I was a kid and she asked me to help but has yet to step over that threshold to undertake it. I really think though that she knows just how challenging it would be for her to clear or clam down her mind so she's defeatist about it without trying. On her behalf though it is really challenging in the beginning.

I really hope you find a positive difference and that it helps improve both yours and your partner's lives.