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Its been easier for me to detach when she is being abusive, angry, controlling, hating me, etc But when she returns to the Seducer and telling me how much she loves me and wants to be with me, then I'm hooked and the cycle continues.

I've been so disciplined with other areas of my life, I don't drink, smoke, nor take drugs. I'm extremely healthy and hard working. I take responsibility for my actions, and I care for others.

Yet it seemed I am obsessed and addicted to her, i don't get these same feelings with other woman. I wake up, go to sleep thinking of being with her, our bodies connecting again, kissing her, ___ing her ... . and when she talks to me, and seduces me, telling me exactly what gets me so excited, what drives me wild - what else is there? Everything else melts away

To let her go, it doesn't feel right. Isn't this what love is meant to feel like? Im doubting my own feelings of love.

Something more is going on here, inside my head than just 'attachment' and 'sex', because I don't get the same feelings with other woman I am with. They can be very sexual, but they not doing something that my gf/xgf (break up/make up cycle :/) is doing?

I feel you man!

No one ever made me feel that kind of love the way my ex did not even close. 

It's because that love is self love being reflected back at us. 

Self love is the ultimate. 

That amazingness is within you within you pain and veiled in shame. 

Lean into the pain.

Yes, I identify exactly with that but I'd like BlimBlam to go further in his explanation.

I felt this incredible sexual connection to my ex but the sex itself wasn't great. It was a magnetic charge/pull that I never had with another. How is this self love/reflection?

What similarities does your ex share with your mother? 

I think it's reconnecting with the half of you that left. With mother. That's the magnetic pull. The cause being a mix of you associating her with mother(the ideal love), trauma bonding caused by her push/pull and possibly the caretaker ego problem.