BPDFamily.com

My daughter seems to have episodes. She has had 2 episodes. There was 18 months between them. The mental health nurse seemed to think this was a good sign and that something was working. I put it down to therapy. Is BPD episodic with intervals of calm?

Hi JustAMum,

By episodes, do you mean suicidal ideation, cutting, or stretches of dysregulation, or other BPD behaviors? It is great that the nurse sees your daughter's behavior as improving. Do you feel the same way based on your interactions with her?

Cutting and suicide ideation and emotional dysregulation. Last episode she had a lot of external factors and had gone off her meds. At the moment she seems ok. She is coping with school. Socially she is in a good place. She has friends and a boyfriend.

Yeah, I've found that to be true for my own (adult) son, who was diagnosed with BPD in April of 2013. He would be dysregulated, suicidal, or addicted to drugs with periods of calm, happiness and sobriety. It was a really stressful roller-coaster ride with him until his diagnosis, treatment and subsequent recovery process... .For the last 2 years he has been clean and sober, and his BPD (and all other diagnoses--except for a lower lever Social Anxiety that is still lingering) are really in remission.

How is your daughter doing, today, JustAMum? It's awful and heartbreaking when our kids are suffering, and we don't know what to do about it... .But, your daughter is being treated and understood, and there is hope for the future for her, since she is being monitored at such a young age.

My own son was 36 when he was finally diagnosed with BPD, with the proper Therapists and Therapies being put in place. He lost 20 years to the fact that nobody understood what was going on with him and causing his troubles, starting around 16 (though he was born with ADD, and that wasn't caught till he was 20, and that fact probably sparked the BPD which probably kicked in around 16).

I'm happy that your daughter is having the chance of a younger working out of her troubles; please hang in there 

Thankyou. It's nice to get some encouragement from people who understand. I often feel helpless in trying to help my d. I try to say the right things but to be honest I do really leave it up to her psych & psychologist. I take her to appointments and support her the best I can. She knows how much I love her

JustAMom one of the ways I figured out to help my daughter was that I needed to model for her the behaviors I wished she would engage in.  In other words behave like I wanted her to behave.

It really is vital to the relationship and our own well being.

lbj

I do try to be a positive role model. She has seen me battle my own mental illness. She has seen me keep psych apps and knows the importance of taking meds. She knows how tough it was for me when I was in a deep depression and how I have fought to come through it. I try to deal with her in a calm manner. She is a really good kid apart from the BPD. We have a good relationship.

That's good to hear JustAMom,

Do you problem solve with her?

I try to but she's very stubborn and self willed. She doesn't like it when you are annoyed with her. I've been using validation. She seems to self harm as a coping mechanism for when she's feeling overwhelmed. She's not volatile but can get snappy and irritable very quickly. I'm not sure if this is apart of BPD or normal teenage behaviour.

Whether it is BPD or normal teenage angst this information is relevant:

The Power of Validating Questions (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=273415.0)

What do you think about this info?  Something you want to try or ramp up with your daughter?

lbj

Thankyou, I just read it and followed the link to validating and teens. I will try to use some of the communication techniques suggested. It's hard being a parent of someone who has mental health issues. I find it stressful and its like I'm constantly holding my breath hoping she's in a good headspace.

It really really is!


I actually began to develop an anxiety disorder when my daughter was in the throws of BPD. As I began to be empowered through understanding, knowledge, and skills the anxiety decreased considerably.  I guess that is what they mean by "knowledge is power".

The ongoing stress of caring for my d triggered my bipolar. I had an episode last year. I am just starting to come out of the low. It's been a hard journey.