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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD => Topic started by: isshebpd on April 21, 2015, 11:29:36 PM



Title: My uBPDmom and my 4yo niece
Post by: isshebpd on April 21, 2015, 11:29:36 PM
A few days ago, I was at the family business. While doing some shipping and receiving, I was also helping keep an eye on my 4 year-old niece. My sister (her mother) came to pick her up, but decided go for a quick jog first.

As my sister left for her run, my uBPDmom and my niece were watching her from the window. That's when my uBPDmom told my niece that my sister was running from her (niece) because she is a "monster". My niece didn't seem too upset, but matter-of-factly replied that she wasn't a monster. "I'm not a monster".

It was weird. It seemed more like two children talking than a child speaking with her grandmother.

I can't help wonder if my uBPDmom wasn't aware I was within hearing distance. At this point, I distracted my niece with a toy. I looked at my uBPDmom and she seemed not quite there, and quietly walked out of the room.

I don't know if I'm over-thinking this, but I'm worried my uBPDmom will make my niece a scapegoat. 



Title: Re: My uBPDmom and my 4yo niece
Post by: educator on April 22, 2015, 07:29:45 PM
I don't know... .it does seem like an odd thing to say.  My uBPD MIL has just been reintroduced into our lives again and met my DD4 (hadn't seen her since she was about a year and a half old).  Anyhow, she did some odd stuff around her.

I'm thinking maybe your mom was making a joke?  I joke that my children are little monsters sometimes, but I do so lovingly and usually chase them around.  It's possible she could be using her as a scapegoat.  I was told my a T once that eventually our DD9 (she was 6 at the time) would outgrow MIL's maturity.  Well... .that has happened.  Our T told us that them MIL would gravitate towards our DD4 and DD9 would feel left out.  MIL only had her hands on my DD's for one day after 3 1/2 years and that all came true in those 10 hours. 

I'd keep an eye out for it.  It is definitely strange behavior.


Title: Re: My uBPDmom and my 4yo niece
Post by: DontGiveUpOnMe on May 15, 2015, 01:15:36 PM
A few days ago, I was at the family business. While doing some shipping and receiving, I was also helping keep an eye on my 4 year-old niece. My sister (her mother) came to pick her up, but decided go for a quick jog first.

As my sister left for her run, my uBPDmom and my niece were watching her from the window. That's when my uBPDmom told my niece that my sister was running from her (niece) because she is a "monster". My niece didn't seem too upset, but matter-of-factly replied that she wasn't a monster. "I'm not a monster".

It was weird. It seemed more like two children talking than a child speaking with her grandmother.

I can't help wonder if my uBPDmom wasn't aware I was within hearing distance. At this point, I distracted my niece with a toy. I looked at my uBPDmom and she seemed not quite there, and quietly walked out of the room.

I don't know if I'm over-thinking this, but I'm worried my uBPDmom will make my niece a scapegoat. 

My mother uses the word monster to describe me a lot , doesn't make sense why a "normal" person would say that to  4 year old, What the heck.