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Title: learning to face my loneliness Post by: DrDani123 on April 22, 2015, 11:39:11 PM i am struggling as i am no contact after months of painful encounters. i have spent hours thinking and rethinking, crying and grieving and feel exhausted and drained. still better than when we were together but just tired. looking deeply into my own emptiness and weakness that allowed me to tolerate shaming and hurtful behaviors. i am afraid it will just happen again. i am tentatively getting closer to friends and coworkers and moving on but doubt have no passion for closeness that seemed so essential to me. maybe i will be alone from here on. my heart hurts.
Title: Re: learning to face my loneliness Post by: Mutt on April 22, 2015, 11:50:04 PM Hi DrDani123,
*welcome* I'm sorry to hear that. A relationship breakup with a pwBPD is painful, chaotic and confusing. I'm glad that you joined us, many members can relate. You're not alone. It helps to talk. Is your partner diagnosed? How long have you been NC and how long were you together? Any kids? Title: Re: learning to face my loneliness Post by: EaglesJuju on April 23, 2015, 06:53:15 AM Hi DrDani123,
I would like to join Mutt and welcome you. I am sorry that you are struggling. It is very tiring sorting through painful memories and feelings. I can understand how you feel that you are alone. Sharing your story really helps working through your feelings. Perhaps you can share more of your story so we can help you better? Looking forward to reading your response. Title: Re: learning to face my loneliness Post by: zundertowz on April 23, 2015, 07:53:37 AM i am struggling as i am no contact after months of painful encounters. i have spent hours thinking and rethinking, crying and grieving and feel exhausted and drained. still better than when we were together but just tired. looking deeply into my own emptiness and weakness that allowed me to tolerate shaming and hurtful behaviors. i am afraid it will just happen again. i am tentatively getting closer to friends and coworkers and moving on but doubt have no passion for closeness that seemed so essential to me. maybe i will be alone from here on. my heart hurts. I find myself in the same situation... .gone are the feelings of love and jealousy of my ex but I also feel very empty and lonely. I still think about the relationship everyday even had a nightmare last night about fighting with my ex. My support group is very small and after a month I can see them kinda getting sick of my pity party. I have a date on Friday but im not even all that excited about it... .I was thinking about canceling. I guess the best thing is to take baby steps and hopefully one day with enough therapy and time we can trust again but I suspect ive been damaged for life. I havnt been counting but I think Im close to 30 days no contact I hope the roller coaster of emotions end soon. Stay strong! |