BPDFamily.com

My SO will willingly tell me they have black/white thinking and paint people black once they are wronged by them... .Is that common?

Not in my case... .my uBPDw will project her black/white thinking onto me... .

If you can keep her calm enough it's almost comical to walk her through her train of thought. She'll always start to wander when we get close to realizing she thinks I'm black/white because I don't agree with her.

My BPD projects his black & white thinking on to me.  He tells me that everything is all or nothing with me!  In his mind compromise equals me doing what he tells me to do because his ideas are better than mine.  He doesn't understand what compromising actually means.

My dBPDw has self awareness at times about her behavior. That's the good days. On the bad days, her previous self awareness is an excuse why she doesn't have it, and why I'm the one with the problem. It's a roller coaster of emotion.

Hi Johnsok,

was your SO ever diagnosed and is he at the moment in therapy?

My ex once said when you hurt a women the way you hurt me they turn evil... .I believe she know what shes doing is over the top but feels that its justified.

Yep, I agree with you completely! My BPDw will can anyone who does something wrong; yet, if she does something wrong, she is in completely denail.

My uBPDw won't admit to that. But she does it, and she either denies it, projects it onto me.

She has, at times, admitted knowledge of some of the things she does. Except that she'll often later deny it, as if she never told me.  When I get seriously into discussions about these things, she will "shut down" mentally. She'll say she's feeling overwhelmed, or tired. I have watched her fall asleep while trying to explain to me - in the middle of the afternoon. Later she'll deny it ever happened. When she paints me black, I'll ask her about it later, and she says I'm crazy and she never said that (anything to disparage me).

No my SO has not been diagnosed. I came up with it all on my own because it just didn't make sense to me how he could tell me he loved me so much and would never leave me but the slightest fight he would be on a dating website because he felt I was abandoning him. He's extremely impulsive, has told me he has black white thinking, lies about everything and tries to tell me I'm crazy because he gets caught. Completely lacks remorse for anything he does. I mean the list could go on forever.