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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: rarsweet on April 26, 2015, 12:20:45 PM



Title: Learning about projection
Post by: rarsweet on April 26, 2015, 12:20:45 PM
On the family law board a member turned around a text from a posters pwBPD  and I just loved it. I went back through my texts and emails and had to write down what ex says about me and turn it around... .here goes... .I am abusive. I am so bossy. I am controlling. I need control and that's not going to work my friend. I constantly degrade you, you don't degrade me. I make up so much stuff its unbelievable. If we aren't on camera I will lie. I am tricky with communication. I constantly harass you. I am playing games and that is not efficient. I sm constantly threatening you. You will not let me get away with threatening you. Everything I do is retaliatory. All I want is money for daughter. I blow everything out of proportion. I make a big deal out of everything. You do everything for daughter. All I care about is me. I have a hard time communicating. Threatening you isn't going to work. I am going to make everything hard for you. When I talk about daughter its about daughter, when you talk about daughter it should be about me!  I lie. I interprets things to manipulate... .lmao it is really funny. Anybody else have any?


Title: Re: Learning about projection
Post by: Aussie JJ on April 26, 2015, 10:42:58 PM
I actually use this to reply oto her e-mails... .

Sounds weird but if I can see what is 'triggering' I also know what buttons to leave alone.  Dont get me wrong, I think it can be funny but having this insight can also let us be better "co-parents".  Ultimately the less we trigger the easier it is for our kids, better for them if we don't make their other parent dis-regulated. 

I can see how she is feeling at the time or in relation to an issue and respond to it avoiding those issues and just concentrating on the topic without inflaming an argument.  I am having some success... .


AJJ.