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Title: Just a small rant Post by: MKG1015 on April 29, 2015, 10:22:07 AM I went home to Ohio this weekend. Felt like I couldn't go home and not see BPDMom b/c (thank you facebook) someone would have told her I was home. I spent *exactly* two hours with her. It was strained and uncomfortable. At first she acted like she didn't know who I was. Squinted (because she is 'blind' (just ask her and she'll tell you)) and was like "Molly is that you? What are you doing here?" This from the woman who claims seeing me is the only joy she has in life (yes she is that dramatic). Naturally, she hugged me like a drowning person hugs a lifeguard... .but that's exactly what it felt like: her trying to drag me under the water with her. (ok so apparently drama runs in the family lol) Being in physical contact with her was hard... .harder than ever. I used to be able to pretend so easily, now I want to pull back and yell "don't touch me!" I know she doesn't deserve that and, that day, did nothing to warrant such a reaction from me. Maybe it's just instinct.
(Tangent here but I promise it matters to the story) She has stopped respecting my phone boundaries of once a day at a specific time and not on weekends. She has gone back to calling 2-3x a day at any all hours despite knowing I work a full time job with regular business hours. (back on topic) I came home for a bridal shower for my soon-to-be-sister-in-law. I was at the shower for 3 hrs and missed two calls from Mom... .on a Saturday. I was planning to surprise her Sunday by stopping by and spending time with her. I texted her and said "I'm out running errands will call later." I didn't call b/c the whirlwind travel and then 3 hrs with screaming woman touched off the migraine. I called her Sunday morning on my way to her house and chatted about nothing. I was just making sure she was at the house really. I cut the convo short b/c I was sitting in front of the apartment in my car by saying "I'm at the store I need to finish my errands. gotta go." Her reply was "::scoffs:: my God how many errands do you have to run?" in her normal nasty voice. I said "Mom I'm very busy. I'll talk to you later." So then surprise ensues and she does not apologize for being nasty. I spend the 2 hrs and leave. Come back to my Dad's house to hear stepmom say "did you see your mom's fb post?" Nope. Pull it up and it says this: Excerpt So when your grown daughter blows you off on the phone to do errands and you've been looking forward to talking to her(she's in VA) all day, it makes you sad. I had a sad Saturday afternoon. When that same grown daughter calls you unexpectedly on Sunday, and once again, after a brief conversation, blows you off to do errands, it just makes you sadder. Then someone knocks on the door - and the dog who is outside (on a steel cable tie out - that'll teach her to snap a leash!) isn't barking or whining , which is extremely odd - and you answer the door (of course still in my pj's, cause, really, it's Sunday and who cares?) to see a woman who looks very familiar, but it can't be her, cause you just hung up from talking with her and she's in VA running errands, it's probably the most wonderful gift anyone's ever given you - cause IT IS YOUR GROWN DAUGHTER WHO'S IN OH AND AT YOUR DOOR! I think I squeezed the stuffins right out of her~ I was so mad I couldn't believe it. What a nasty way to say something nice about someone. I particularly enjoyed how she painted me as the b*tch for the entire first part of this and then, miraculously, I'm the "the perfect child." (sarcasm) No splitting here! I don't expect replies to this I just needed to vent to folks who understand her behavior and why it makes me so angry. Thanks for listening. Title: Re: Just a small rant Post by: ShieldsUp12 on April 29, 2015, 11:16:09 AM Can I just say "UGHHHHHH!" ? FB. I'm starting to think there should be an etiquette course and license requirement to use it. FB police should patrol and flag disturbed posts and then send the poster a message that states they are suspected of having a disorder and a counselor will be in touch with them shortly. Got rage issues? NO FB FOR YOU! Can't construct a proper sentence? NO FB FOR YOU! Vague posts about how people are mean to you or life is horrible? NO FB FOR YOU! Like to name-call and use really gross profanity? NO FB FOR YOU!
In any case, if I came across that post as one of your friends or her friends or whatever, I would probably just roll my eyes at it and move on. I've done that plenty on the ol' FB with some friends who overshare or rant. Really it reflects more on the poster than on whoever they are going on about. I mean, if you have an issue with someone let them know privately and never, ever broadcast it for everyone to see. That's such a betrayal of trust. Sad thing is, the PD'd don't understand that concept at all. Unless of course, it happens to them. Title: Re: Just a small rant Post by: Mike-X on April 29, 2015, 11:30:10 AM Wow. I am sorry to hear about this exchange. I agree that the post on FB is filled with what appear to be passive-aggressive statements.
A couple of questions about the post: Did you consider ignoring looking at the post? Have you considered breaking it down to depersonalize it or just to depersonalizing it all and accepting that is is part of the disorder? Are you friends with her on FB? Are you concerned about how her friends or mutual friends on FB might take it? I certainly know that depersonalizing such things can be a challenge, but I am just wondering if it was something you are working on or have considered with this incident. Title: Re: Just a small rant Post by: Mike-X on April 29, 2015, 11:35:46 AM In any case, if I came across that post as one of your friends or her friends or whatever, I would probably just roll my eyes at it and move on. I've done that plenty on the ol' FB with some friends who overshare or rant. Really it reflects more on the poster than on whoever they are going on about. I mean, if you have an issue with someone let them know privately and never, ever broadcast it for everyone to see. That's such a betrayal of trust. Sad thing is, the PD'd don't understand that concept at all. Unless of course, it happens to them. This is what I have done with FB posts of this sort, too. |