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Title: Mirroring "I love you"? Post by: Bassoutcast on April 30, 2015, 05:03:17 PM Hey guys. Currently doing NC after my exdBPD broke up with me (after trying any form of contact and being met with either total silence or mind-games to check if I'm still around), and now that I've started to gain some perspective I though of something - Her "I love you"s were typically said right after I said it, I can't recall one time she initiated it, she just "went along with my feelings". Even in her valentine's day card which was attached to a present she gave me she just used metaphors I've used before, and said that "she hopes this gift shows me how much she appreciates me" - APPRECIATES, not LOVES, signed it off with "with love, HERNAME" (English isn't our native language and here it can be used in a friendly way too, not romantic)
My question to you guys - do you think that pwBPD can mirror you to that extent where they mirror your feelings towards them? that the "I love you" you get are simply ways they think you'll see they care as much as you do? Title: Re: Mirroring "I love you"? Post by: Mister Brightside on April 30, 2015, 05:36:05 PM With borderlines and narcissists, they can't keep the mask (their false self) on forever. That gets tiring, and sooner or later their mask slips, and you start to see the real them. I think narcissists especially, who are generally less able to show compassion, try to mirror love in order to fake it. Neither borderlines or narcissists know the true feeling of love (more like temporary infatuation). And at some point, when they realize you aren't going to be able to help them anymore (they are bottomless pits who can never be filled) they just stop caring at all, and in comes the discard.
So yes, I think cluster B personalities probably mirror in the mid to late stages of the relationship. We know they do that for sure in the idealization stage when they try to appear like the perfect mate. Title: Re: Mirroring "I love you"? Post by: Bassoutcast on April 30, 2015, 05:53:43 PM Huh. plausible.
I also get the sense it's somewhat of a "power-play" on their side as well, a game of control. We used to always end conversations with a , but she always HAD to be the one who sent the last one, wouldn't stop until I gave up. Towards the end I reassured her I will NEVER leave her, she made me promise that... .not 2 days later the sh*tstorm breaks loose and she's sick of me and breaks up with me, stating clearly "it's MY decision, not YOURS". I actually think in a way it's more about control than actual, genuine love... .they might THINK that they feel it, at least at first, but then when they know you're there to stay - they run away faster than Usain Bolt doing the 100m dash... . |