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Title: Ive been trying to break up with someone who I think has BPD for years Post by: freedom60 on May 02, 2015, 11:12:15 AM He wont let go. it is very challenging. I have tried everything - the still continues to ask me out send numerous text a day etc. I am undergoing Therapy just to have the ability to make this break up stick.
Any ides on what I should do? Title: Re: Ive been trying to break up with someone who I think has BPD for years Post by: lbjnltx on May 02, 2015, 11:36:12 AM Hello freedom60,
Welcome to the site. I'm sorry you are having this problem with your ex. How long have you been apart? lbjnltx Title: Re: Ive been trying to break up with someone who I think has BPD for years Post by: freedom60 on May 02, 2015, 11:38:09 AM This time for 3 months - since Feb
Title: Re: Ive been trying to break up with someone who I think has BPD for years Post by: jhkbuzz on May 02, 2015, 12:12:08 PM This time for 3 months - since Feb Hi freedom60 and welcome to the boards - I'm glad you've found us. I am 8 months out of an 8 year relationship and posting here helped me with my healing immeasurably. Therapy helps too! :) Can you tell us a bit of your story? I'm going to ask an obvious question, so forgive me: have you considered blocking him on your phone? It will appear to him that you simply aren't answering - not that he's blocked. Title: Re: Ive been trying to break up with someone who I think has BPD for years Post by: freedom60 on May 05, 2015, 06:09:00 AM Thank you - yes it is the obvious - He gets very irate if i mention blocking him. I have tried to reason with him that we need a 30 day break with no calls. He has threatened to come to my house or work if I block him.
Ultimately I know it is the right thing to do. My therapist has suggested it as well. I have babied him for so long and he really knows how to pull my heart strings. I guess I keep hoping that ultimately he will shift his infatuation for me to something or someone else. Thank you for the feed back. Title: Re: Ive been trying to break up with someone who I think has BPD for years Post by: jhkbuzz on May 05, 2015, 09:01:12 AM Thank you - yes it is the obvious - He gets very irate if i mention blocking him. I have tried to reason with him that we need a 30 day break with no calls. He has threatened to come to my house or work if I block him. Ultimately I know it is the right thing to do. My therapist has suggested it as well. I have babied him for so long and he really knows how to pull my heart strings. I guess I keep hoping that ultimately he will shift his infatuation for me to something or someone else. Thank you for the feed back. That's a difficult situation to be in freedom60 - I'm sorry that he's making it so difficult to stick to your decision. His "becoming irate" and his threats to come to your home or workplace are attempts to control you. Have you discussed with your therapist how you will respond if you block him and he shows up to your home or work? My ex was a "waif" borderline - often very child-like and knew how to pull my heartstrings as well. One of the realizations that has really helped with my healing is the understanding that 1. She is not a child no matter how "wounded" she appears, and 2. Her instincts for survival are very good; she survived before me and will survive well after our breakup. Can I ask why you've decided to end the relationship? |