|
Title: She's no longer with the replacement Post by: Zpinal on May 02, 2015, 08:28:32 PM bpdfamily, I hadn't post here in a while as I did the work psychologically and now getting physically fit (going to the gym 3-4 times per week) and looking ahead for a brighter future.
Today I had some kind of a closure when someone I know told me to peak at my replacement page. Went from «engaged» to «single». I do not wish anyone the heartache we all going/went through here but seeing this confirmed to me that it wasn't my fault, no more «what if I did this or that otherwise etc». The disease always win. I was pretty much detached at this point but once in a while nostalgia kicked in and was thinking about that r/s. I am NC since November 10th. the last communication I had with her was a polite exchange via text message for the passing of someone in my family she liked. I must say that NC is essential for healing. I went through and came out a better man. Thanks to bpdfamily and another site that we cannot mention here. Title: Re: Shes no longeer with the replacement Post by: valet on May 02, 2015, 08:42:15 PM It's nice that you are feeling well!
I have been in your position before. You have to remember that she will find a new replacement for her replacement, if her behaviors are truly borderline. This could hurt you more, but since you have already gone through it before it will probably be less painful. Title: Re: Shes no longeer with the replacement Post by: Zpinal on May 02, 2015, 08:50:30 PM It's nice that you are feeling well! I have been in your position before. You have to remember that she will find a new replacement for her replacement, if her behaviors are truly borderline. This could hurt you more, but since you have already gone through it before it will probably be less painful. Thanks Valet, but I doubt id be hurt when she gets the next replacement, She is borderline, bipolar, adhd, and some other issues, I am doing what i need to do to no longer attract that kind of people in my life. I wouldn't call this a hurt anymore but nostalgia. I no longer have those big emotional response and tend to think of that r/s in a positive way. It was fun while it lasted, the r/l didnt last very long and I had it easier than most of you here. Title: Re: Shes no longeer with the replacement Post by: valet on May 02, 2015, 08:58:45 PM It's nice that you are feeling well! I have been in your position before. You have to remember that she will find a new replacement for her replacement, if her behaviors are truly borderline. This could hurt you more, but since you have already gone through it before it will probably be less painful. Thanks Valet, but I doubt id be hurt when she gets the next replacement, She is borderline, bipolar, adhd, and some other issues, I am doing what i need to do to no longer attract that kind of people in my life. I wouldn't call this a hurt anymore but nostalgia. I no longer have those big emotional response and tend to think of that r/s in a positive way. It was fun while it lasted, the r/l didnt last very long and I had it easier than most of you here. That a good attitude. It helped me to get passed the extreme sadness that I felt, definitely. Make sure not to demonize her and devalue her like she devalued you. She deserves compassion just like you. Remember forgiveness is the only way to freedom. We cannot escape the love-hate continuum without it. Title: Re: She's no longer with the replacement Post by: FannyB on May 03, 2015, 01:22:10 PM Excerpt I must say that NC is essential for healing. I went through and came out a better man. Thanks to bpdfamily and another site that we cannot mention here. Hi Zpinal. That 'other site' helped me immensely in making sense of what was happening to me and allowed me to almost see the funny side of the bizarre situation I found myself in. Don't think I would have recovered so well without it as at that stage of my recovery it was exactly what I needed. Like you I feel I got off lightly compared to some on these boards and should count my blessings! :) |