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The week of May 7-14th is coming up. The one year anniversary of when he flew out to see me, and I last saw him. Little did I know it would be the last. Im heartbroken thinking of how hard I tried to see him again this year. I hate today that im feeling nostalgic. Why? He sure as heck dont miss me. Im tired of having to distract myself every single day. I envy his ability to just forget

Know the feeling.   Yesterday was exactly a year since I met her, today is exactly a year since we had a completely insane Hollywood romantic comedy style first date that simply turned me upside down. Doubt she remembers or wants to remember any of that.

Must be something about this week. It's an anniversary week for when mine freaked out too. So hard. I sure miss him flaws and all.

You inspire me BB!  Congratulations!

Hi Beach_Babe,

I'm sorry to hear that  

It can be triggering going through all of the anniversaries, events and holidays the first year post-break up . I found the following year much easier to cope with the trigger periods.

It helps when we have distance and time behind us too.

Hang in there.

----Mutt

Invictus: What makes you think she doesnt remember? Have you had any contact?

hope: by freaked out, you mean... .when he left you?

Dunder: thanks you too.

Mutt: Do you think he even will remember "hey a year ago I was with BeachBabe" ? It seems like hes really moved on, dunno.

Yes he left me 2 years ago today and one year ago day after tomorrow. He always seems to completely lose his mind in the first week of may. The only year he didn't he was on antidepressants. He is on them this year last I heard so hopefully he will be ok (as in stable and safe if not happy). I know its not my circus or monkeys but I still worry. I don't want him to suffer.

Hey, sorry you're feeling bummed today.

It's kind of weird how these important days affect us, isn't it?

Why do you hate that you're feeling nostalgic? Try not to avoid the feelings that you have too much in the next few days. You might find some answers in them, if you ask yourself the right questions.

Very wise words. But I always struggle with what the right questions to ask myself are. Someone should start a list and send it to me. Or maybe write a workbook.  :)

Meanwhile Beach babe I think you are great. Grieving is a process.n Let it happen and you will come out the other side stronger and happier. Meanwhile go kiss the ocean for me. I am land locked a the moment and I crave the soothing of the sea. Hugs during this challenging week.

Someone told me once ... ."Celebrate the happy memories but never ever forget the painful ones or who and what caused them." 

Anniversaries can be triggers.

YOU plan something for YOU.

Every single day, plan something for you. Even if it's read a book cover to cover and that consumes the day... .

Plan something positive, for you.

Take a 7 day class, do a cleanse, take 7 days of dance classes... .but plan to take care of, pamper, love, yourself those days.

Volunteer. Volunteer in an area where they struggle to get people to sign up, and go after it with a passion.

Keep your mind, heart and soul, busy; on positive things.



Why?

Because you are human, you have a soul, you have genuine human emotions.

He is incapable of missing you. You would never ask a horse to bark like a dog, do not expect someone who has no ability to 'feel' something; to feel. You frustrate yourself... .and they don't care.

Stop 'distracting' start planning, and then executing your future!

Find your passion and pursue it.

Don't mearly exist... .LIVE.


Don't.

It strips you of your humanness... .your ability to genuinely love.

I get it. It would be nice if we could just 'forget' like they do.

Yeah, for a minute.

But it would strip us of the lesson in all this; the humanness in all this... .

Never ever envy something that is so messed up... .

I have had very limited contact with her. She might remember it, but she probably doesn't remember it the way I do, not after she walked out one me.

Ok I admit I am not this far along in my healing. lol.  I believe in karma.


Im sorry you had to experience that, Invictus!  . Ive been following your story as well. How do you think she viewed LC?

goingplaces: thats a great idea to stay busy this week. Did that work for you? He does have ability to feel, my ex, but only for himself.

I hate feeling nostalgic for someone who doesnt feel the same. After 14 years he told people I was a stalker, a burden , mean to him and good riddance to bad rubbish. He also said his life was better that I was gone and he would never talk to or see me again. He had nothing but bad memories.