BPDFamily.com

Back in December the XBPD wanted a my to design a tattoo for her birthday, she wanted my "property of XXXXX" with my name on her bum, I wasnt too keen but she insisted. Fast forward 3 mths and she cheated and left. Its been 9 weeks since leaving now, and she moved in with my replacement the first week, and I have heard she hasnt been to get it covered up yet, despite having the money to do so. In a logical world, I would think it would be the first thing on the list, and Im puzzled as to why she hasnt.

Interesting that she considers herself property too.

Yes that was my reservation when she came to me wanting me to design it. I felt quite awkward about it.

My ex had a cover up of her ex husbands name covered up on her shoulder... .I always found it pretty cheesy and refused to let her get my name on her... .but we agreed to get matching tattoos... .glad that never happened.  

I wouldn't worry too much.  I think tattoos are possibly pd-related, but not always.  My uBPDexgf had a tattoo with her exs initials on her back, very inconspicuous.  When I noticed and asked about it, she got upset, but refused to get it removed even though she "hated him" and he beat her up a couple times.

She ended up getting pregnant by him (they already had a child) and she first thought the pregnancy was mine so it caused a crazy rollercoaster week.  She was actually not promiscuous at all, but it only takes two to tango (or create a wild situation).  Tattoo man eventually got back together with her, and as far as I know, is still beating her to this day.  Not something I can worry about.

I think that this is more society's problem than hers.

To address the topic: pwBPD tend to hold on to things to ease the separation and anxiety and pain of the abandonment that they induce on themselves by leaving or being left.

My ex still has a diaper pin that my mom gave her, my first birthday hat, slews of pictures of both of us, and even old stuff like flower petals and stuff that I had given her, not to mention my old, almost destroyed old iPhone 4 that I gave her when her's stopped working entirely.

My take on it is to just let her keep the stuff. It means less to me than it does to her, and taking it all back would just be a cruel thing to do.

Yeah when she left she took heaps of my stuff, like all the clothes she had bought me, all our towels and sheets, sex toys, just heaps of random stuff, worse bit mostly stuff I paid for, but I guess whats it really matter, would I have wanted any of those things, NO, but I would have liked a choice.

Heres a funny one, as I got her a job where I worked, and I was in management, I had asked her on varying occasions to dress a little better, where she worked there lots of bending and her bum crack would show a lot, especially to the guys who turned out she cheated on me with one of them and is now living with him (i digress).

She would get angry at me for asking her to cover up and act a little better with it considering I had management role there, looked slutty and none of the other girls did it. Well she ended up finally seeing reason and started wearing singlets to cover up.

Fast forward 2.5 mths apart, and shes back doing the same thing I hear, I heard it cause I asked someone I used to work with if they knew tattoo was covered, they said no as they saw it earlier today, which means bum hanging out again.

I think she has such a hatred of herself, a feeling of being that slutty girl, and finds if she regresses to it, its her defauly pattern and easier to be than a normal person.

I really don't like to pigeonhole people, and I honestly believe people are complicated and multifaceted creatures, but the more I read here the more it seems like pwBPD follow the same script.  Differences in intensity, maybe, but so many similarities, right down to the little details.  I guess the way the human brain copes and manages to survive extreme abuse/neglect as a child is similar.

When I first went to uBPD ex's apartment I asked him why do you have a lotion bottle with Cyrillic lettering on it?  he said it was his ex's. 

(that relationship had been 3 years long, ended 2 years ago, and was not healthy by any stretch of the imagination.)

He also had an inhaler from an infection from intubation after his suicide attempt after the aforementioned girlfriend broke up with him. 

Oh, but there's more... .he had a picture of aforementioned ex-girlfriend's genitals on his phone.  I asked him why do you still have that?  I didn't really get an answer.

And why he didn't stay with me (kinda functional, kinda dysfunctional, but committed to therapy and growth) but still carried such anguish over her (at least by his account, one of the most dysfunctional people I've ever heard about) is a whole other topic, but at one point where we weren't dating anymore but still doing the push/pull thing he tells me during a text conversation, "people tell me I'm not ready to date, I tell them 'watch me!'"  (watch him do what exactly?)