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My ex broke my spirit, my mind, and my soul. I believed I had met the greatest guy in the world, but it was all a facade. I broke no contact because it was his birthday and he used that to tell me about a child I didn't know he had. Who lies about having a child for three months? My therapist thinks my ex is a sociopath, but I feel as if I'm the crazy one. I'll never contact him again. I really don't know how to cope with the pain.  :'(

So sorry that  breaking NC opened up that toxic Pandora's Box of mind games and bad feelings for you again.    Just shows you once again that this relationship isn't, and never was, healthy for you. It's a sour tasting pill to swallow, but it'll make you better in the long run. 

I could have wrote this myself a year ago. What helped my is I research about the disorder as much as possible. That will give you actual proof that YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. Lol. The pain will go away it can not rain forever.

Your, mind, spirit, will all heal with time. What also helped was to embrace your emotions. If you want to sit in the shower and cry do it. If you want to break or hit something, do it. Hiding how you feel will make the hurt worse.

I left my relationship, abused & pregnant.

But you will cope and you are coping, even if it's bursting into tears and thinking about him all the time you are in a process that Does get better.

What he has done has, opting not to tell you important information, is not yor fault or responsibility. It was a crap thing for him to do, im sorry. You are among friends here.

Thank you everyone for the encouragement. I was feeling incredibly low and each of you lifted my spirit. I'm not sure what I did to him to make him want to inflict me with pain. He's very sadistic and I guess I was getting too close for him. Even after the anger, I try to forgive him and say, "Hey! Happy Birthday!", then that is used to inflict more pain. I am going to try and take this heartbreak day by day. Thanks again.

We all know your pain. You're here, you're talking about it and it will help. You're also seeing a therapist, which is great. Take back what was taken from you. It's not his to keep, it's all yours. Keep your head up and keep moving forward. Every step you take is one more closer to your goals and one more away from him. All the best!