BPDFamily.com

If you're on this board, you've left your BPD relationship behind and you're now learning how to reclaim what was lost and what was taken from you. The following links were VERY helpful. It helped show me who I was, why I stayed, why I hurt so bad, etc.

First, is the test

www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp (http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp)

You need to answer every question truthfully!

Second is reading about the type you are.

www.keirsey.com/4temps/overview_temperaments.asp (http://www.keirsey.com/4temps/overview_temperaments.asp)

This is what I am

www.keirsey.com/4temps/protector.asp

Here is one of the biggest things that helped to explain why I stayed in that relationship.

>>Wanting to be of service to others, Protectors find great satisfaction in assisting the downtrodden, and can deal with disability and neediness in others better than any other type. They are not as outgoing and talkative as the Provider Guardians [ESFJs], and their shyness is often misjudged as stiffness, even coldness, when in truth Protectors are warm-hearted and sympathetic, giving happily of themselves to those in need.<<

I'm not saying that the test is an exact science, but it is one my therapist uses (several do) so it's not just some Facebook "Who am I?" crock.

I think one of the first steps in truly healing is finding out who you are. Once you do, it might be onto why you are the way you are. That's what I'm going through with my therapist, now. It'll be interesting to see if we're all the same/similar types.

www.keirsey.com/4temps/champion.asp


That's me Irish I'd say 95% accurate as well

ESFJ too!

I've taken quite a few Myers-Briggs tests in different contexts with different questions, and I always end up as an INTJ, including on this one, so I'm pretty convinced that's my type at this point.  I've found it very validating, since I spent much of my youth thinking I was doing life "wrong", when really it was folks with different types trying to fit me into their box and I bought into it.  Very validating and comforting to know that there are lots of other people wired like me, and reading about the traits of the type and learning who famous people with my type are, and reading their biographies has been very enlightening too, folks I can definitely relate to.  It's a brand new world... .

Very interesting, Dobie. Do you agree with this analysis?

>>they consider intense emotional experiences as being vital to a full life. Champions have a wide range and variety of emotions, and a great passion for novelty. They see life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil, and they want to experience all the meaningful events and fascinating people in the world.<<

 Would you agree that you're more extroverted, than introverted? I think that's about the only difference between an ESFJ and an ISFJ, which I am.

Very interesting read (both your words and your PT). Thank you!

Up to a point Irish I'm as introverted as I am outgoing so need to "recharge a lot" she was attracted to me for my bad boy image , rebellious nature , confidence , outlaw thinking , myriad interests , strong loud outgoing personality , forceful dominant nature the reverse of her and what she left me as a broken shell lol

I sometimes think I was dating a psychic vampire

You were. We were.

Yep!  I have taken this test many times over the years and I always score as an INFJ.  It pretty much nails my personality.  The INFJ is the "Protector" or what others describe as the "Counselor."  I am introverted and usually root for the underdog.  Funny thing is that he knew test said I was INFJ and whammy-bammy he "too" was an INFJ.  I guess it could be true but I don't believe a word that he ever said about anything anymore.  He explained his push-pull due to being an INFJ in that he needed to break away from everyone to have his solitude, I understood this as I love my solitude.  Anyway, INFJ is supposedly one of the rarest personality types so what are the chances we were the same?  But, yes, I can say that this test (for me) is quite accurate.

The explanation for an INFJ ("Counselor":  "Counselors have an exceptionally strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others, and find great personal fulfillment interacting with people, nurturing their personal development, guiding them to realize their human potential. Counselors are both kind and positive in their handling of others; they are great listeners and seem naturally interested in helping people with their personal problems.

He preyed upon my highly empathetic and helpful nature.  I feel like I have been a resource center or a soft place to land for a disordered person that needed love, understanding, and nurturing.  My ex-H was a narcissist of epic proportion but he never hid his self-centered nature.  What boggles my mind is someone that would present me with a false persona and actually be the polar opposite.  Sick.

I was thinking about that, when I first wrote this. I ALWAYS root for the underdog.

You're right. There no way of knowing if you ex was true with the answers, or not. My ex-wife is a ESFJ. My BPDx, if I remember correctly, was ESFP.

Scary how accurate they are, though.

Folks, although the tests seems to be very helpful, please keep in mind that the Myers - Briggs test is not scientifically backed-up.

Both ladies are not psychologists nor were educated as such, they merely studied Carl Jung's work and developed the test, which is greatly embraced by human departments and recruiters.

(reason for me to reject that test applying for a job in the past).

www.en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers–Briggs_Type_Indicator

When looking for a reliable test, take one based on the "big five personality traits"

www.en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Five_personality_traits

Hence what I said, previously.

>>I'm not saying that the test is an exact science, but it is one my therapist uses (several do) so it's not just some Facebook "Who am I?" crock.<<

This post was meant to see if there was a pattern in the *personality types* that come from BPD relationships. Not a psychological analysis/profile on said person. Big, big difference.

Yes, there are many ways to parse what it is to be human, and then what do we do with it and how does it make us feel?  The description of 'me' provided by the results of Myers Briggs and my type fit me to a T and it's been extremely validating to learn the traits and study what others with my 'type' have to say, so it's been valuable.  But I'm also open to other systems, of which there are many; what specifically did you learn about yourself from your work with the big five system Dutched?

I'm INTJ too. I also have to agree with fromheeltoheal I found it validating to find out my personality type because I often felt like I was out of place and didn't fit in with the conventional norms. I was often told by my family that I think too much or worry too much. It's the second time I had taken this type of test and score the same.


www.keirsey.com/4temps/rational_overview.asp

It helped me understand that there's nothing wrong with my personality type and I'm just different. I find I'm always thinking, scanning and I understand why it's hard for me to shut my brain off before going to bed lol I can also understand that I have difficulties with dating traditions and often an INTJ will find someone usually when they give up trying and I guess I make a reasonable mate  

I think it was hard for me with a pwBPD because I would often try to make sense of the illogical nuances and behaviors and I couldn't find an answer or solution. I also didn't know it could be a PD.

What my ex taught me is that life is not perfect and there's a lot of imperfections in life and to accept the imperfections in life and not everything is logical. That's a lesson BPD taught me.

INTJ here as well and everything you said is right on the dot about myself as well.  I also found my exBPD wife when I gave up. hahaha.  I'm giving up now as well, nothing makes any sense! lol, but thanks for what you said, yes, I will have to learn from the experience as well, no one is perfect... .as long as they are not crazy! ha!

Interesting how many INTJ's are here, especially when it's a relatively rare type.  When I started studying the traits of the type, how we need things to make rational sense, and what happens when they don't, it went a long way to explaining the insanity I experienced when my relationship went off the rails.  We don't like things that are messy, muddled or unclear.  Ha!  Yeah, there was more than a little of that going on.  And then, I wanted to know why it was so easy to bond with someone who was not good for me; mostly, as an introvert who turns inward for information and answers, we can lack the ability to connect with what's going on with other people, and can lack the ability to communicate effectively, especially about emotional issues.  Those abilities probably wouldn't have helped much in that relationship, but it's important for me to own my shortcomings and work on them, so the next relationship benefits.

Yes it is a rare type and I'm introverted no doubt. I also learned how important relationship bonds are and reciprocal feelings are too.

For anyone interested, we have done some work in this area.

We have had a lot of discussion about the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® over the years. Many of us are familiar with it.  As you know, this is a personality profiling tool that was originally developed for the workplace but its use has been expanded to examine the natural compatibility of couples and of family members.  Here is the link to the test      

(https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/images/mb/take-the-test.png) (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=60827.0)

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Survey Results [added May 20, 2011](https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/images/mb/myers-briggs_table1.gif)

Sensing [73% of US population/ 18% of bpdfamily participants]

Paying attention to physical reality, what I see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. I’m concerned with what is actual, present, current, and real. I notice facts and I remember details that are important to me. I like to see the practical use of things and learn best when I see how to use what I’m learning. Experience speaks to me louder than words.

Intuition [27% of US population/ 82% of bpdfamily participants]

Paying the most attention to impressions or the meaning and patterns of the information I get. I would rather learn by thinking a problem through than by hands-on experience. I’m interested in new things and what might be possible, so that I think more about the future than the past. I like to work with symbols or abstract theories, even if I don’t know how I will use them. I remember events more as an impression of what it was like than as actual facts or details of what happened.

<More information> (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=60827.msg595732#msg595732)

Original data table lost, survey restarted.  

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Information Pages in the Thread

Trait Definitions (Introversion, Extroversions, Sensing, Thinking, etc.) <click here> (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=60827.20)

Profiles Descriptions (ENTJ, ESTP, etc) <click here> (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=60827.msg683193#msg683193)

Compatibility Profiles <click here> (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=60827.80)

Incompatibility Profiles <click here> (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=60827.msg988776#msg988776)

Data Summary <click here> (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=60827.msg1423896#msg1423896)

Thank you, Skip! Took the test and, again, I'm an ISFJ.

Jung Test Results

Introverted (I) 56% Extroverted (E) 44%

Sensing (S) 62% Intuitive (N) 38%

Feeling (F) 65% Thinking (T) 35%

Judging (J) 84% Perceiving (P) 16%

Your type is: ISFJ

ISFJ - "Conservator". Desires to be of service and to minister to individual needs - very loyal. 13.8% of total population.

Irish Pride.

I have seen your ‘disclaimer’ but was very surprised that your Therapist uses it, as Psychologists (at least in NL) rejects it.

Healer:

www.keirsey.com/4temps/healer.asp

I think this does resemble me and my character... .

Scientific acceptability or not I have found this pretty accurate.  The US government uses it as a career assessment tool.

INFJ - Counselor - Introvert(100%)  iNtuitive(38%)  Feeling(12%)  Judging(44%)

•   You have strong preference of Introversion over Extraversion (100%)

•   You have moderate preference of Intuition over Sensing (38%)

•   You have slight preference of Feeling over Thinking (12%)

•   You have moderate preference of Judging over Perceiving (44%)

1-2% of the population.

"Counselors have an exceptionally strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others, and find great personal fulfillment interacting with people, nurturing their personal development, guiding them to realize their human potential. Counselors are both kind and positive in their handling of others; they are great listeners and seem naturally interested in helping people with their personal problems."