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The judge just found ex in conditional default again, second time since january, failure to respond to second set of interrogatories. Seriously his lawyer must be getting annoyed.

consequences?

He has to answer them without objections and move to strike the default within 10 days or he can be found in contempt and a default judgement entered.

What you've described about him so far, he doesn't sound like someone who can pull himself together enough to be involved in your child's life.

I can't understand why his lawyer wouldn't be ontop of this stuff. She is a good lawyer voted a "super lawyer" she's on the ADR and collaborative law committees and does a ton of pro bono stuff, I can't imagine what the excuse for not doing them will be. And she sent me interrogatories with some waste of questions, like list your past 2 year work history and any reasons for terminations, ex knows I've been at my job for 4 years. I wonder if he's just snowballing his lawyer. And state whether you or anyone living in your home for past 12 months has been convicted of any crime. He knows I have no record and noons has lived with me.

She may think your ex is a loser and doesn't see any point in knocking herself out to help him. 

does the judge set the terms of a default judgement?

I believe the judge would accept my parenting plan as its not unreasonable. Just comparing our plans the judge should realize how unreasonable ex is. Our daughter is 9 months old so I did a step up plan. I am suggesting joint legal custody, me to have primary residential, ex has daughter every Saturday 9am- noon Sunday, 3 hours of his choosing every Tuesday and thursday, all 3 day weekends the school district follows, alternating years for holidays from 9am day be fore- noon day after, fathers day, his birthday, and the plan would change when she turns 3 to ex having daughter from 3pm Thursday to Saturday at noon one week and Thursday to Sunday at noon the next week, 3 day weekends, alternating holidays, and 2 one week periods in the summer. His plan is he wants sole legal custody, he wants " the court allow ex to move with daughter one hour away from current residence without court permission"( lol his exact words), he wants me to have her Monday at noon Tuesday at 5, and I would have her alternating christmases  from 5 Xmas eve to 8am Xmas day and 8am day after to 5pm, the rest says as we agree like other holidays and birthdays. That's it.

ah good - so it's the plan you wrote. (i just didn't know.)

Unless there is a reason to do otherwise, alternate weekends is best.  That way both parents get regular time off.  And conversely both would also get a full alternate weekends to take mini-trips to visit relatives, etc.  And it is a recognized standard everywhere.  The only reason you might have to do otherwise is if someone is a firefighter, police officer or has some similarly unusual work schedule.  Really, I believe splitting every weekend long term is difficult to do.  You don't want to have to declare a vacation just to go away for the weekend with your children, usually most orders only allow 2 to 3 weeks of vacation each year.

Do not allow any vague terminology in the proposed order.  "Reasonable" telephone contact and "mutually agreed" exchange locations are standard clauses that fail miserably with our high conflict cases and often send us back to court to get them fixed.

Your county likely has a standard list of vacations.  It is probably best to start with its terms and then specifically strike out or edit any that don't apply as written.  Leaving it wide open "as agreed" is a sure recipe for obstructions, back-stabbing, sabotage and repeated returns to court.

Ex doesn't work and I work tuesday - Saturday, will for at least 2 more years to finish school, so my weekend is really Sunday and Monday. My plan says that if the parties are exchanging daughter we go to the police station otherwise ex would pick up daughter from childcare or school. I don't like every other weekend right now because she is so young I think more frequent shorter times are good. Then the step up plan would change things once she is 3. My work schedule will change and she would go to preschool. So ex would have Thursday-saturday one week, and Thursday Sunday the next(he could bring her and pick up from school). I did put the clause that if he moves more than 20 minutes away we would do standard every other weekend, as its not feasible to drive a kid an hour to and from school.

I really don't think ex will stay here. He moved here in 2012, he has no family here, except his dad who would move in a heartbeat. No friends. No job. He wants to move away to live with his sister who seems to not mind supporting him. His history is all over, we are in nh, he has lived in Vegas, Colorado, the Carolinas, new mexico, Hawaii, Alaska, Vermont, he goes from family to family leeching until something happens. I think if he doesn't get the sole custody he wants he'll be gone. Or at least in the next state over with his sister.