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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: razemarie on May 11, 2015, 09:56:07 AM



Title: Mother's Day
Post by: razemarie on May 11, 2015, 09:56:07 AM
It's been over a year since the official split from my ex-uBPD fiance.  We were together off and on for eight years.  Looking back I realized that every Mother's Day since we had our son (4 years old), I have been on my own.  But my ex has always made a point to wish me a Happy Mother's Day and get flowers and a card for my son to give me and I do the same for Father's Day.  It makes our son feel good and is a sign of respect for the two of us.  This year there was nothing.  The day came and went without a word.  I feel that I am truly over the relationship and have moved on, but it hurt me that he didn't even acknowledge me.  I have our son about 95% of the time (his choice not to be involved) and I'm a good mom.  I take good care of him and never leave him wanting for anything.  It's hard work and I guess I was hoping for a little recognition.  Thinking back though I see that he never acknowledged me during the eight years I was a stepmom to his two daughters from a previous marriage.  I shouldn't be surprised.  Just feeling a little out of sorts today and needed a place to vent. 


Title: Re: Mother's Day
Post by: razemarie on May 11, 2015, 10:09:56 AM
I know it's completely irrational but I keep wanting to send him an email about not acknowledging me yesterday.  I know if I do, it will just bring unwanted drama in my life and it would defeat the purpose... .of him respecting me enough to do it on his own. Has anyone else ever felt like this?


Title: Re: Mother's Day
Post by: Eco on May 11, 2015, 05:33:20 PM
Excerpt
I know it's completely irrational but I keep wanting to send him an email about not acknowledging me yesterday.  I know if I do, it will just bring unwanted drama in my life and it would defeat the purpose... .of him respecting me enough to do it on his own. Has anyone else ever felt like this?

I do all the the time, but like you mention it does no good and will more then likely add stress. I have reached the point where I no longer expect anything in return from my exNPDgf , when I do anything like mothers day cards or the like I do it for my kids benefit not my ex. Its easier said then done I know, I still struggle with resentment.   


Title: Re: Mother's Day
Post by: razemarie on May 11, 2015, 06:01:42 PM
I'm with you.  I still plan to help my child celebrate Father's Day with his father... .for HIS sake. Our issues are not his problem to deal with.  I guess I just have to remind myself that he is wired differently than me and to stop expecting things.