BPDFamily.com

So I was served tonight. XW is suing for modification of CS. specifically she wants to pay zero. She currently pays a little under 500.00 a month and I have 56% overnights. Her rationale is a significant change in circumstances. She has lost yet another job, with the grand total being almost ten jobs in 40 months. Most of these jobs she has been fired from. She also cites that her mother and grandmother are sick.

She also wants to split driving responsibilities to and from school as well as transportation costs. What this means is that she wants me to take the kids to school on her days, citing that she cannot get to work on time if she has to take one child to elementary school and then the other an hour later to middle school. She had asked me previously if I could take them and I refused, as I also have to get to work. But I did offer to take them on Fridays when I don't have to be at work as early. She didn't even respond to my generous offer.

Also included is a litany of everything she could throw at the wall, relevant or not. Old lies and some of them almost slanderous: she has taken the lead in the kids' medical treatments, I have refused to give them meds, on and on. All demonstrably false and indeed quite the opposite.

I have mountains of documentation at the ready to refute her claims.

I hope she will fail on all counts. I have notified my attorney and hope we can go for court costs and attorney's fees as this is going to kill me financially.

I suspect it is not going to viewed as relevant, but she lives with her (affair person) fiancée (who also works) in an upscale private yacht club with a second beachfront vacation home. I struggle with one income in an expensive neighborhood so my kids didn't have to leave their neighborhood and school.

I hope to receive reassuring news from my attorney.

Any thoughts/advice would be appreciated.

I don't know about other places, but at least in our state zero CS is a non-starter.  Baseline CS is calculated from a formula based on income, and if they aren't currently working it can be imputed income based on their earning potential. Payment might be deferred temporarily in a genuine emergency, but it must be made up.  If you're generous, have the means, or have some other reason, you can certainly give more, but not less.  And they are cracking down on deadbeat parents--jail time is not uncommon.  I'm very thankful we don't have minor children and have been able to avoid all of that, but from what I gather judges here are fed up with parents who won't take responsibility for their children and are cracking the whip when they can.

I was awarded legal fees on most of my motions, and it's not exactly a walk in the park trying to collect that money. You basically have to file a motion for contempt (ie paying a lawyer) to collect the money she owes you.

Just wanted to let you know that being awarded legal fees can keep you locked into the whole circus. 

Milo, I have been dealing with support issues with xh for two years . Support dept ordered him to pay child support, and minimal spousal support , ( that would end when divorce was final).  He immediatley put in for modification , then didn't do anything with it for a year. Then refiled it for modification and spousal support for him. Then more delays . He got himself unemployed ,  we had support hearing ... .

Support dept imputed his income and he has to pay child support still and no retroactive spousal support for him.    The support dept had advice from their attorney and order was signed by a judge.   

He again immediately put in for modification , and retroactive spousal support for himself.  So I now have to pay my attorney to prepare for a hearing in court , not support dept, in front of a judge.

I was just thinking today that in a sense , xh is suing me.

It is not much he has to pay now. He still had 4700k in back support. Had his license suspended from not paying, had a second notification for license suspension.

Hearing is in a few weeks. It all depends on the judge this time.

I will post the outcome.

For you, her income should get imputed plus the fact that she is living with someone so it s not like she would be homeless if she paid the support . 

My court order stated that if I cohabitated with someone, then that meant I would no longer receive alimony/spousal support.

Thanks, everyone,

I met with my attorney who feels confident XW does not have a case. Nevertheless we are going to hit back, hard. I hope it will discourage her from pulling this nonsense again and maybe even make her drop the lawsuit. She has filed pro se and we will bombard her with interrogatories as well as an order to see a vocational counselor to invalidate her claim that she cannot find a higher-paying job. All her other claims will be rebutted with massive documentation I have accumulated over the past three years. True to her NBPD, she is furious that I have retained counsel. I know, crazy, as she actually expected me to just lie down and take it. But I have learned that an aggressive response is the only way these people will back off. She is terrified of lawyers, courts, and the legal process overall. Unfortunately of course it's our children who will suffer. All the money I have saved for summer camp and vacations will now be spent on legal fees. Of course if I inform her of this she will blame me, since I am at fault for simply everything.

Milo, I understand, the legal fees and the amount I had to give in settlement could of paid for collage for kids. 

Xh doesn't understand that. His only focus is to retaileate. 

My future post of the outcome of my support hearing will be awhile as it is moved to a later date.