BPDFamily.com

Hello I'm a mother of teens with BPD. The second one was just diagnosed recently I've been on this roller coaster ride for 5 years and up u til 2 years ago truly had no idea what was going on.  I'm now concerned that they both want to move out and live alone. My concern is that while on medication they function fine but being alone I fear they will not see the need for taking their meds any advice?

Hi Mama1993,

I'm glad that you found us and sorry to hear that your kids are suffering with BPD. How old are they and is this daughters or sons? or a mix? Have you had to raise them alone?

My heart goes out to you, having an only child with BPD was taxing beyond belief... .having 2 teens with BPD ... .I can only image how difficult and overwhelming that must be for you. 

My daughter turned 18 last October and moved out on her own in November.  She went off her meds shortly after moving and has recently asked to get on some new meds to manage her depression.  Initially I would remind her by phone by asking if she has been remembering to take her meds... .one day she told me she wasn't going to take them anymore because she believed they were making her stomach hurt.  These are the same meds and dosages she has been on for 5 years.

When our kids turn 18 and go out on their own we lose some of the ability to influence their choices.  This is the scary part for us as the risks for them are so high and we aren't there to run interference or help guide their decisions.  Have your kids been med compliant pretty consistently up to now?

I look forward to talking with you more and learning how to support you going forward.

lbj

Hi Mama1993,

I can so relate to this. Sending our kids off into the "real" world has to be one of the most difficult tasks as a parent. I actually truly had a belief that it wouldn't be hard, that it would be just a progression of things as a mother.

I couldn't have been more wrong. I think I worry more as a parent of an "adult". I've lost the ability to keep him safely tucked under my mama wing. (Not sure if that's a good or bad thing!)

You know, though, he's been doing OK. He's also learning the hard lessons that kids have to learn. It tugs on my heartstrings, but he is learning. I've helped equip him the best I could and he seems to be keeping up as best he can. Which in all reality is pretty darn good. :)

As far as his meds, he has a relatively expensive watch that I happened to buy for him, that has an alarm to remind him when to take them. :)

I'm also curious of how they've been so far about taking their meds? Do they realize how it helps them? Would they still be on your insurance for getting refills and such?

---DreamGirl