|
Title: Family member with terminal illness. Do I break NC to inform my exBPDwife? Post by: Bumpsintheroad on May 13, 2015, 11:40:06 AM I have been NC with my exBPDw for 53 weeks (final divorce hearing). My sis-in-law has a terminal illness and I'm struggling with a decision. Should I send exBPDw a short email to inform her? They were somewhat close during our short marriage but after all the drama and BS she caused, my sis-in-law and ex haven't spoken or had any contact.
Would like to know if anyone has been in a similar situation? Thanks for your thoughts Title: Re: Family member with terminal illness. Do I break NC to inform my exBPDwife? Post by: Skip on May 13, 2015, 12:26:43 PM Is there any reason not to tell her?
No contact is not a lifelong undertaking - it only needs to be long enough to detach or protect. Title: Re: Family member with terminal illness. Do I break NC to inform my exBPDwife? Post by: valet on May 13, 2015, 01:12:49 PM It would be considerate to tell her if they were close at some point, in my opinion.
Do you feel uncomfortable with the idea of contacting her for such a purpose? Title: Re: Family member with terminal illness. Do I break NC to inform my exBPDwife? Post by: ReclaimingMyLife on May 13, 2015, 01:22:44 PM Would it be of benefit to your sis-in-law? Would your s-in-law be glad your ex knows or would that add to s-in-l's difficulties at an already stressful time? What are the chances of your ex being helpful during this time? Or would it be "all about her" (the ex)?
Seems like your s-in-law's needs/wants are primary at this moment? Just a thought... .:) Title: Re: Family member with terminal illness. Do I break NC to inform my exBPDwife? Post by: Bumpsintheroad on May 13, 2015, 01:50:01 PM Thank you all for your help and replies. Have just a moment but I will respond later, in depth, when I have more time.
Title: Re: Family member with terminal illness. Do I break NC to inform my exBPDwife? Post by: Beach_Babe on May 13, 2015, 02:29:30 PM Did your sister have a relationship with her? Dunno in my experience they don't really care.
Title: Re: Family member with terminal illness. Do I break NC to inform my exBPDwife? Post by: zundertowz on May 13, 2015, 02:50:52 PM Its really a time for your sister in-law... .maybe bring it up in passing what her wishes are.
Title: Re: Family member with terminal illness. Do I break NC to inform my exBPDwife? Post by: Loosestrife on May 13, 2015, 03:55:26 PM Its really a time for your sister in-law... .maybe bring it up in passing what her wishes are. I think this is a good tactic Title: Re: Family member with terminal illness. Do I break NC to inform my exBPDwife? Post by: Mutt on May 13, 2015, 04:18:38 PM I don't think no contact is black and white and there are grey areas and I'd pass the information along.
I also think it's a temporary and not life-long tool. Title: Re: Family member with terminal illness. Do I break NC to inform my exBPDwife? Post by: McGahee21 on May 13, 2015, 06:15:41 PM thats up to your sis in law, not you. if you want to contact her, than contact her if you miss her or what not.
if its truly just about your sis in law and her, than ask your sis in law. if its really about finding an excuse to reach out, because you are still not over it, than thats your call... . i know i struggle with this a ton. if its been a year, id let it go man. |