|
Title: Triggers... up and down? Post by: confusedinWI on May 17, 2015, 11:20:05 PM For some reason I seem to be having a really bad day/night with triggers. It seems like everything, even the must mundane like a Mt Dew Can (hey we liked mt dew!) is a trigger right now.
I'm trying to train my brain to be like, well idiot we drank Mt. Dew before ex gf, and we drink Mt. Dew now so stop it. But then there are those triggers that were specific to the relationship. Does it get easier? Does it get to a point where maybe I can remember those memories as good times without the soul crushing sadness of we will not do that again together? Title: Re: Triggers... up and down? Post by: once removed on May 18, 2015, 01:41:32 AM yes, it gets easier. in my aftermath i didnt want to use foam soap (first used it at her place) or even run hot vs cold water cause she claimed i was really good at finding the right temperature for her bath (thoughts along the lines of how can she even run a bath without thinking about me?).
there are two schools of thought on this and both are right. one is to dive into these things; go to the places that trigger you, do the things that trigger you, use the objects that trigger you, eliminate the emotional negative association by exposure. the other is avoid them for a while, avoid triggering in general, until youve had some time, and then to slowly approach them. balance between the two is a good idea. you no doubt carry associations large and small. it stands to reason that the smaller ones will fade more quickly. larger ones, like holidays and anniversaries, special places or things you did together, will take longer. time will heal a lot of the wounds, exposure over time will heal others. its a matter of balance and it relates to your personal recovery/experience. take it as you feel youre ready, associations large and small |iiii. Title: Re: Triggers... up and down? Post by: enlighten me on May 18, 2015, 03:38:29 AM As said it does get easier.
music was a big trigger for me. We shared a lot of the same musical taates. Some of my favourite bands I could no longer listen to. I turned it around. Listened to songs that had a different message. I also re evaluated songs. Its amazing how a song that you thought meant one thing has a completely different meaning when you change its context. I still get triggered by cards. I used to put a lot of thought into them. Christmas and birthdays seem to have more to the one I love cards than any others. |