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Title: I need help Post by: isadesesperada on May 17, 2015, 11:39:06 PM I am new in this place, I need some help on how to help my sister that suffers from BPD, I love her dearly and we are very closed, but everytime she is in a hard place financially she demands my help and i had help her through the years , but I can not do it any longer, she gets abusive and right now she is hating me, I can not pay her rent... .
Title: Re: I need help Post by: Turkish on May 18, 2015, 12:07:28 AM Hi isadesesperada, *welcome*
Being held financially responsible for someone is certainly a tough place to be, notwithstanding if that person suffers from BPD, and probably feels a sense of entitlement. It sounds like you may have been her financial caretaker for a while. Do you feel resentful how she's treating you? Title: Re: I need help Post by: Kwamina on May 20, 2015, 09:28:13 AM Hi isadesesperada
I would like to join Turkish in welcoming you here BPD is quite a challenging disorder and having a BPD sister can be difficult indeed. Has your sister been officially diagnosed with BPD or any other disorder? Has she ever been in therapy to deal with her issues? What lead up to this current situation in which your sister is experiencing financial difficulties? You say she demands your help and gets abusive. I am very sorry to hear that, being abused by a family-member you are usually close too isn't easy. In what ways is your sister abusive towards you? Perhaps you will benefit from reading an article we have on here about fear, obligation and guilt (FOG). Here's an excerpt: Excerpt ... .fear, obligation or guilt ("FOG" are the transactional dynamics at play between the controller and the person being controlled. Understanding these dynamics are useful to anyone trying to extricate themselves from the controlling behavior by another person and deal with their own compulsions to do things that are uncomfortable, undesirable, burdensome, or self-sacrificing for others. Do you feel like your sister uses fear, obligation and/or guilt to get you to help her out financially? And do you feel comfortable setting and enforcing boundaries with your sister? You can read the entire article about FOG here if you're interested: Emotional Blackmail: Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG) (https://bpdfamily.com/content/emotional-blackmail-fear-obligation-and-guilt-fog) |