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Title: It's funny Post by: dobie on May 21, 2015, 02:30:52 PM Despite all her bad points I can still think of some unique qualities my x had pd aside that in one package I doubt I will find again ... .
The sex (amazing when we had it ) Her intellect Her idealisation and "love" of me Her looks I can't not hurt in that she can't seem to feel the same about me She did say she doubts she will find someone to match her intellectually again Must remember Her deciet Her cheating Her lying Her resentment Her lack of empathy Her selfishness Her betrayal Her ugly shallow materialistic attitude Her neediness Her awful father Her arrested emotional development Her lack of humour Her drain Her irritability and anger Her viscious callous devaluation Her ungrateful attitude towards me Her lack of nurturing in the last few years Her passive aggression Her goal changing Her coldness toward my family Stay strong dobie ... .:) Title: Re: its funny . Post by: Arcturus81 on May 21, 2015, 02:38:55 PM I went through this phase as well. I saw only her good points and none of the bad. The longer we remained apart the more of her negative traits began to surface in my memory. Don't focus on what you had her built up to be in your mind. It will only make you miss her more. Right now you need to spend time healing and whenever you find yourself thinking about her try to remember something you didn't like about her.
I truly wish you a healthy recovery. You will find someone else that will make you forget all about the ex. Chin up! Title: Re: its funny . Post by: dobie on May 21, 2015, 02:46:04 PM I went through this phase as well. I saw only her good points and none of the bad. The longer we remained apart the more of her negative traits began to surface in my memory. Don't focus on what you had her built up to be in your mind. It will only make you miss her more. Right now you need to spend time healing and whenever you find yourself thinking about her try to remember something you didn't like about her. I truly wish you a healthy recovery. You will find someone else that will make you forget all about the ex. Chin up! Tbh I accepted her as she was ... .She drove me crazy sometimes but overall I loved her and was happy That's what makes her deciet & betrayal as well as her actions so painful O well time to be a man :) Title: Re: its funny . Post by: ZeusRLX on May 21, 2015, 02:55:28 PM My list and the proportions of it are very similar to yours... .
Title: Re: its funny . Post by: dobie on May 21, 2015, 03:00:30 PM My list and the proportions of it are very similar to yours... . I'm thinking what is it about the pros that outweighs all the cons ? I think the underlying issus is in my case SELF ESTEEM :) Title: Re: its funny . Post by: ZeusRLX on May 21, 2015, 03:09:26 PM I'm thinking what is it about the pros that outweighs all the cons ? I think the underlying issus is in my case SELF ESTEEM :) I think the sex and looks are the 700 pound gorilla that outweigh just about anything for most guys, at least initially. :) And idealization and all that nonsense about "true love" don't hurt either. Title: Re: its funny . Post by: dobie on May 21, 2015, 03:11:26 PM I'm thinking what is it about the pros that outweighs all the cons ? I think the underlying issus is in my case SELF ESTEEM :) I think the sex and looks are the 700 pound gorilla that outweigh just about anything for most guys, at least initially. :) And idealization and all that nonsense about "true love" don't hurt either. Yep its amazing what our egos and Johnsons will allow us to put up with :) Title: Re: its funny . Post by: dagwoodbowser on May 21, 2015, 03:23:32 PM dobie I could pretty well copy and paste your list, but there are some on the Negative side that are kind of private and would probably raise a few eyebrows so I will list the good ones.
1. Incredible non-stop, kinky, intense sexual passion. The woman was insatiable and unlike other Waifs she never withheld, but when she felt unfulfilled it was an excuse to hit up an old flame. 2. She was a sexy, seductive bomb shell. Unfortunately this was a dual edged sword as she used this like honey to trap many flies. 3. When she would drop her defenses and open up to me we could have some of the most wonderful times and conversations. 4. As a CoD, she filled my emptiness and neediness during those many dysfunctional moments where I gave and she took, I felt wanted and needed and she gladly wanted the comfort and gifts. A symbiotic relationship? Or parasitic? a barnacle on a ships hull or a tapeworm in your intestine? Then of course there are the 13 Toxic descriptives that I now trump the above. Reality setting in... .finally. |