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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: UserName69 on May 21, 2015, 01:10:05 PM



Title: It is not working
Post by: UserName69 on May 21, 2015, 01:10:05 PM
Me and my ex have had the same problems. I knew she was a BPD, and I had a lot of moodswings and stress caused by my job. We never had a stable relationship, we had a fight almost every two weeks.

She wasn't easy and I'm stubborn as a mule. Thats a bad combination. Once we broke up for almost one month she was the one who ended it. Later we got back together, when I asked her why she wanted me back she said that she isn't upset anymore. We never had a stable relationship.

Now we have broke up again (2 weeks ago), I know this relationship doesn't work she knows it too. So I gave up and hopefully my next girlfriend wont be a BPD'er.

She always neglected me and gave me attention only when she wanted. That only made me stronger and started to care less about her. If I would spend too much time thinking about this I really would hate her.

I texted her a couple times and she never replied so @#&# her. This is probably how all of her future relationships will look like. She's the one who made a major loss not me.

A guy I work for told me to forget about her and enjoy my life. It's not worth it. He's right and I'm following his advice, I don't even think about her anymore.

I need to take care of my self. I really gave up on her. We had like 14 fights within a couple months.

Soon or late you or he is going to end the relationship forever. I always believed in her but thrust me you're going to get hurt if you stay with him.


Title: It is not working
Post by: Sandman1881 on May 21, 2015, 01:56:51 PM
Great advice Username69. I wrote this first and then read your reply. So as a matter of fact we together are correct.


I am uBPD and my exgf is also uBPD/NPD.

I'll say I'm sorry for your troubles but in reality I'm not. The only way that I know how to do anything besides read your posts and say I'm sorry basically like everyone else is a waste of my time and yours. In my opinion of course. DO YOURSELF A HUGE FAVOR AND CUT THIS OFF AT THE HEAD AND FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE FOCUS ON, I WISH I COULD SAY THIS LOUDER, YOURSELF!

I have been doing just this for the past 7 months basically and it makes a HUGH difference.

I still think of her and wonder nearly every day. But the difference now is, now listen because this is the most important thing, I have learned to love me and maybe you will (because you can) LEARN TO START LOVING YOURSELF! This is what I've been doing and I love it. I love me for the first time in my life.

I spend the majority of my time alone and I can't tell you how miserable I thought I'd be and I'm not. It's the exact opposite. Finally.

At first it sucks. But so worth it because you have to realize this... .in this lifetime the only one that will vere love you the way you want to be loved... .is you. I know it sounds strange to you and so simple for others that know how. But this is the key. It is I swear. I'm finally to a point where good day or bad, I'm happy to have peace of mind (within reason) AND I never have to wonder what someone else is doing because I am too busy wondering/planning/contemplating what I AM GOING TO DO NEXT!

Finally after 42 years on this Earth, I am thinking about and concerned for MYSELF!

Private message me if you want to discuss more. If not, do what I said (or not). I know you are not already because if you were you wouldn't be posting about your cheating, lying, ... .friend that has no idea how to satisfy ... .self with ... .self.

Do what is best for you. Spend the next 4 years (or the rest of your life) with no emotional attachments. It seams strange at first, but when you finally come to a place where no one can trigger your emotional response, you will feel as if your have finally won at least one for... .YOU!

I don't hope. And I don't hope this helps you, I know it will. Facts! Not drama!