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Title: Sentimental Moment after BU Post by: DyingLove on May 27, 2015, 07:59:25 AM I just responded to another thread about our ex's being in our dreams. It made me think of what happened last night.
Yesterday I went out walking, and I've been sore and paying for it all night. Well aside from tossing and turning all night with leg pain, I woke somewhere around 4am-ish, humming and singing a song. I didn't even give it a second thought, and then it hit me: why am I humming this? I'm including the youtube link. After the breakup, maybe two weeks in, (still living under the same roof and sleeping in the same bed), about midnight I was feeling very sad and crappy about our BU and how we were hating and not loving, and she was just litterally inches from me. She was wrapped up in a blanket facing away from me. I grabbed my phone and found this song on youtube, and held my phone close to her and played it. I know I was crying to myself and just hoping and praying that just a spark of love or compassion would flair from it. I played the entire tune, and she didn't flinch. Not to say that she didn't feel anything, I'll never know, but she didn't even move or make a sound. Damn I'm even tearing up thinking about it. How can someone be so cold. What would your take on this be? Am I beating myself up here? Or am I just feeling what I'm supposed to be feeling? Not gonna be a good morning, But I'm gonna still try. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAroPEI7Y30 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAroPEI7Y30) Title: Re: Sentimental Moment after BU Post by: Beach_Babe on May 28, 2015, 05:28:47 AM That is a lovely song. I am sorry she did not respond. *hugs*
How are you today? Title: Re: Sentimental Moment after BU Post by: DyingLove on May 28, 2015, 08:14:30 AM That is a lovely song. I am sorry she did not respond. *hugs* How are you today? Good Morning BB. I'm okay right now, no coffee yet. Sorry you didn't sleep. :-( Not 5 minutes ago... .it hit me like 2 tons of bricks: She Loved me then turned around and stopped loving me. In seconds. How do you do that? It's still the #1 question in my mind and until I hear what sounds like the right answer, it just won't be. It's like being alive one moment and dead the next... .but without the dead! Title: Re: Sentimental Moment after BU Post by: Arcturus81 on May 29, 2015, 12:00:19 AM I am sorry dyinglove. It is truly an astonishing and hurtful thing to witness that kind of turn around. I feel your pain. I have seen the dead eyed stare of someone who used to give nothing but puppy dog eyes. The pain and shock of a complete 180 is not something people can get over easily. Lying down to go to bed is the very worst part. Just remember that even though it is hard to get over, it is not impossible. Just keep trying one day at a time as they say in AA. You can do this!
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