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 ex showed up at the preliminary hearing for the false harassment claim she has placed against me. My lawyer asked why she was there because he said plaintiffs never show up to those. It's just to see if you have a lawyer and set trial date. About 3 hours later I got a funny notification on Instagram of a name I didn't know liking a picture of a wine we both loved. She'd created a fake account and liked it. I know it is her based on seeing something she posted. What do you make of this?

RED ALERT! She is probably sniffing around for a recycle. Cannot say for sure but that sounds pretty suspicious. I would suggest you block the new account name to send a message that you aren't interested in talking. Then continue with NC if that has been your method. If not then I would highly suggest it. The fact you were at a false harassment charges hearing is proof enough that you don't need her in your life. Block everything and continue on with your life. Don't let her suck you back in!

That's why I'm so confused I guess. She's trying to get PPo and charged me falsely. There was no need to make a false account and let me know it was there. Then to post to it like she would her normal one. But only its old pictures. As a couple things like feeling wise meme's. I thought at first it was just to torture me by letting me see thins that reminded me of her since I can't see or talk to her right now. Idk

Its all smoke and mirrors. Not speaking with them or giving them validation drives them batty. Just ignore her the very best you can and stay strong.

Smoke and mirrors? Explain. Why would she even do that? She is back with her ex. And she is getting what she supposedly wanted and me out of her life.

Bpd's never get what they need. If she is doing this then she is already feeling abandonment fears by her new flame. I use the word flame because that is what we are to them. We burn brightly in their minds then fizzle out. She is using minor distractions to try to keep you off balance. Please remember that most are manipulators and darn good ones. Be highly suspicious of anything you think might be here trying to trick you into making contact. No sane person creates a fake profile for the intentions of trying to torture their ex. She is most likely a toxic person who needs to be avoided.

Smoke and mirrors is a saying that magicians use to represent something that will distract you from seeing what is really happening.

If she was truly getting what she wanted from her new guy then she wouldn't be trying to indirectly contact you

I know she's not. She was with him 13 years before me. And she never did.

Keep your chin up man. Stay positive, things do get better!

I am. Just trying to figure out these newest events.

Hey LostinWonder... .

As soon as I saw the word "false" I had to comment. Apologies ahead if what I say sounds harsh or what not. But remember, I am just speaking of personal experience. My *whatever the heck you call her* BPD  was also subjected to issues of self harming as well. When she decided she wanted to end our relationship the second time. She went home and let her parents believe that I had thrown her down a flight of stairs. Mind you, I work mostly with mentally ill adults/children so a record of false allegations of domestic violence doesn't look too kindly on me. However, to sum it up. I had to go to court. Where the judge pretty much had decided right there and then that I was automatically guilty of such a heinous act of violence towards people and was all set to throw the book at me. Luckily, my lawyer whom I had hired for such a case spoke up,. and demanded that I be treated with a fair trial. Eventually, altogether the charges got dropped.

What is this i am saying you might be asking? I suggest strongly if your ex is pursuing false charges against you. this is your bonus red flag red-flag that you have been waiting for and/or sign to move on wards; I know its hard, because its your heart and you want to believe in the good. Trust me, I get it completely. But however , when I tell you I know the whole ring of experience, Trust me, I just found out about a week ago, my whatever the heck you want to call her. who dumped me via text last valentine's day, has gotten married.

How do I feel about this? I don't know. Mixed feelings. Some of pure elation/ and some of pure sadness/betrayal. If you need someone to talk to who totally gets what you are going through. Please feel free to reach out to me. I will be glad to help.

MGL

Hi Lostinwonderland70,

I can understand how confusing her gesture is. I'm just throwing this out there and is she Queen / Witch? Does she vacillate through different behaviors like the need to control and can be cruel and punishing? I went through some behaviors I couldn't explain when I was falsely accused and I triggered Witch.

She may be trying to provoke you into doing something. Be very careful. Even if you suspect its her do not contact her about it. You dont want harrasment charges afded to the false allegations.

I can honestly tell you from personal experience that when I was arrested and falsely charged. I was beyond terrified.  I kept picturing myself in jail and all the horrible things that happen to people in jail would happen to me. Have you hired yourself a good lawyer yet? If you can't afford one, remember that most courts will appoint you a public defender. Make sure that you do get a lawyer though. Do you have a prior record of any sort? I hope that you don't. I hope that you also don't get a grudging female judge like I did either. I would suggest strongly to get a lawyer and talk to them about the circumstances surrounding the case. I am here if you need advisement on what you can and cannot do. I have this board on immediate logon, so I will be checking it frequently for your emails.

MGL