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Title: Overacting Post by: Eco on June 01, 2015, 11:58:33 PM when I bring my daughter back to my ex my ex always tries to interrupt my saying goodbye to my daughter. My ex will over act with my daughter like she hasn't seen her in months and purposely get my daughters attention away from me while im trying to say goodbye.
I show up to my exs house a few min early for two reason, 1. so im not late. 2. so I can say goodbye to my daughter on my time. I have asked my ex to give me my time to say goodbye but she refuses to do that so im thinking of parking a block away from my exs house and walking so I can say goodbye to my daughter in peace. Does this sound crazy for me to do that? any ideas or opinions are appreciated Title: Re: Overacting Post by: bravhart1 on June 02, 2015, 12:06:18 AM I think it sounds brilliant. Why not?
Title: Re: Overacting Post by: Panda39 on June 02, 2015, 12:28:01 AM I think that's a great idea!
Title: Re: Overacting Post by: bravhart1 on June 02, 2015, 12:34:35 AM And by the way, our BPDm did this too for a while, when SD6 was younger. She would crouch down to her knee, yells the kids name over and over again like getting a dog to come and stay there with her arms out stretched until the kid ran over.
It was very disconcerting. SD6 is too old to respond to that now. So hope for this being short lived. Title: Re: Overacting Post by: scraps66 on June 02, 2015, 03:24:33 AM I would just say your good byes before getting to the house. I also would not leave your car. It may seem odd that you are walking up to the house and possibly appear that you are looking for an engagement rather than trying to avoid a confrontation. Staying in the car prevents any interaction at all.
Heck, I do this and my ex climbed in the car at one point to say good bye and give S8 a hug. Completely overacting. Title: Re: Overacting Post by: rarsweet on June 02, 2015, 05:39:43 AM I really think doing the exchanges at her house is a bad idea, that is just leaving the door open for all kinds of trouble.
Title: Re: Overacting Post by: whirlpoollife on June 02, 2015, 07:32:11 AM I would give all the hugs and love prior to d getting in your car to go x's house, then stay in the car at drop off, if not much to unload from your car.
I adapted to that for myself because h wanted and got , a court order for me not to leave the car when I drop off and pick up kids. ( his own reason was vindication ,when I asked for a mutual meeting spot ) His goodbyes in person and on the phone are drama ( out of the normal range) every time , even still and at events when he sees kids. Title: Re: Overacting Post by: scraps66 on June 02, 2015, 08:15:04 AM Also, try to make it so there isn't much that has to change hands and carry. My ex seems to think that she needs to carry their bags to the car. Especially at times when she knows there is tension. There was a period a few years ago, tax time, and she was claiming both children on her tax return. We have 50/50 and I told her what she was doing was wrong. From that point on she insisted on meeting me at the car to say good-bye to the kids, put the bags in the car. She was taunting me, blatantly putting herself way too close to me hoping that I would engage her and potentially give her the opportunity for a false accusation. A PFA would immediately give her full custody until a hearing could be held. In my courthouse this could be as much as two months!
Title: Re: Overacting Post by: rarsweet on June 02, 2015, 09:09:26 AM My daughter is only 10 months old, so we have to literally hand her over to each other. I can't wait until I don't have to get so close to( he will literally lean in and sniff me to see if I am smoking cigerettes) ex. I would take any boundary I could get if I were you.
Title: Re: Overacting Post by: Eco on June 02, 2015, 07:00:37 PM Excerpt It was very disconcerting. SD6 is too old to respond to that now. So hope for this being short lived. My hopes as well, It doesn't work for my my ex every time and she started doing this when my daughter started wanting to come back to me at drop offs. Excerpt I would just say your good byes before getting to the house. I also would not leave your car. It may seem odd that you are walking up to the house and possibly appear that you are looking for an engagement rather than trying to avoid a confrontation. Staying in the car prevents any interaction at all. Heck, I do this and my ex climbed in the car at one point to say good bye and give S8 a hug. Completely overacting. good point, sounds like my ex with the climbing in the car. Boundary breaker for sure Excerpt I really think doing the exchanges at her house is a bad idea, that is just leaving the door open for all kinds of trouble. unfortunately its in the court order, That's one of the things im getting changed when I go back to court. I do all of the driving, pickups and drop offs. Excerpt I would give all the hugs and love prior to d getting in your car to go x's house, then stay in the car at drop off, if not much to unload from your car. I have thought about that and its a option, its just weird to say goodbye when its not time for goodbye. life with a disordered person is going to far from normal. Excerpt I adapted to that for myself because h wanted and got , a court order for me not to leave the car when I drop off and pick up kids. ( his own reason was vindication ,when I asked for a mutual meeting spot ) His goodbyes in person and on the phone are drama ( out of the normal range) every time , even still and at events when he sees kids Its amazing how when we try to do something fair for both they have to try and control it somehow and come out on top, fairness is not an option for them. Excerpt Also, try to make it so there isn't much that has to change hands and carry. My ex seems to think that she needs to carry their bags to the car. My ex wont allow anything from my house to hers except the cloths on my daughters back ( which are mine from my house) she refuses to send any of her cloths from her house with my daughter. Excerpt There was a period a few years ago, tax time, and she was claiming both children on her tax return. We have 50/50 and I told her what she was doing was wrong. From that point on she insisted on meeting me at the car to say good-bye to the kids, put the bags in the car. She was taunting me, blatantly putting herself way too close to me hoping that I would engage her and potentially give her the opportunity for a false accusation. A PFA would immediately give her full custody until a hearing could be held. In my courthouse this could be as much as two months! Your ex sounds a lot like mine, and for that im so sorry. I bet it went over well when you told her she was wrong because they are never wrong right I had to look up PFA, That's a scary situation Excerpt My daughter is only 10 months old, so we have to literally hand her over to each other. I can't wait until I don't have to get so close to( he will literally lean in and sniff me to see if I am smoking cigerettes) ex. I would take any boundary I could get if I were you. luckily I only have to see my ex 2 times a month right now |