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I have just had a good look at the reasons for staying thread on the staying board and the most frequent reason is having kids. There are literally a handful of people without kids who have stayed with their pwBPD and that's because they are committed to getting help with the disorder. I would be interested in hearing from  anyone who's pwBPD has gone through intense therapy and what your relationship is like now? Have there been relapses? Have you had to stay in therapy as a non-BPD for ever more? How have you not burnt out? Are you glad you stayed or did you leave eventually?

Thanks

The lack of response probably says it all 

My pwBPD has been in therapy for awhile now and there are times where he still engages in dichotomous thinking, distorted thinking, and maladaptive behavior. I expect this, because it does take awhile to work on pervasive behavior. 

Changing the way I think and perceive the disorder has helped immensely. I struggle with the push/pull, mainly that because that triggers two of my issues. I work through my own issues at therapy, which in effect helps my relationship.

His and my therapy have improved our relationship.

I stay because I love him, regardless of his flaws and behavior. It can be frustrating sometimes and I am sure my issues frustrate him too. I think of my limitations and boundaries and what I can and cannot cope with. The things I can cope with outnumber the things I struggle with. I started looking at why I struggle with certain things and most of those things are my issues.

Why do you want to stay or leave?  What is the biggest factor with indecisiveness?

Thanks for replying.  I think long term improvement in behaviour control is a big factor.

As long as the person is committed, therapy helps disordered and non-disordered people.

The effects of therapy can take awhile. I have noticed drastic improvements with communication. 

Self-awareness does help as well. 

Is your pwBPD in therapy and self-aware?

Yes to both. My PwBPD has been in and out of T for years, but only recently had diagnosis and struggling to accept it and back in T again