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My uBPDew is refusing to acknowledge our court ordered child custody schedule. I have two 6 year olds. We had a temporary agreement and she is refusing to acknowledge that I dissolved the agreement (which is in my right to do per the agreement).

My question is - If she refuses to let me pick up the kids and I call the cops, it's definitely going to hurt my kids which I obviously don't want to do. However, if I don't pick them up, I'm allowing her to interfere with my custody.

So the question is, if I am forced to call the sherriff and they read my court order and walk my two 6 year old boys out of her house, how is that going to play in court? Won't the judge feel I'm not acting in the kids best interest by using such a heavy handed tactic?

The fact that you had to get the authorities involved wont play well for her. I would text her before pick up and say you are coming to collect them. If she says you cant have them then explain that she is breaking the court order. If she still refuses go to the sherif and show them the vonvrtsation and court order. Explain that you dont want the kids to witness anything that may disturb them.

This will show you tried to be reasonable with your ex and you had the kids best interest at heart with the sheriff.

Where I am, law enforcement won't enforce a civil order unless a judge issues them an order to do it.

That means I can show them all the orders in the world, and they will only tell me I have to go back to court, file contempt, and address it that way.

Makes enforcing civil orders with difficult people very hard and costly.

This was my experience overall too.

Police told me they wouldn't even respond until I actually had an order in hand.  (Well, unless I went to her door and she called them, then of course they told me they'd rush right over.  Um, I didn't want to risk getting arrested for trying to see my own child!  So I waited 3 months to get into court for a temporary court order.)

When I did have an order they did respond when we disagreed.  However, they only tried to resolve the immediate incident.  Whether one of us relented or not, they always ended by advising us both to "fix this in court" as they left.

As long as you do all the right things and none of the wrong things - you don't want to be seen as the problem and blamed or even arrested - getting the police involved is actually beneficial.  You can ask for a police report as independent documentation of the incident.  Why?  Often when you march into court the ex will make allegations of all sorts why the exchange was blocked... .you were raging, out of control, cursing, aggressive, threatening, etc.  When someone is trying to be so emotionally compelling (against you) many courts retreat into Protect-the-Poor-Helpless-Victim solutions and the fact that your parenting was obstructed or blocked gets lost.  Having police reports in hand may very well deflate those blaming allegations and claims.

Another thought... .do you pick up the children from each other's homes?  Often that is not wise when tensions are high.  If there are confrontations then that could put you in danger.  Her residence is her home turf, she could set you up to get arrested for any number of aggressions.  Because my ex and I had confrontational exchanges, our orders were always - and still are - to exchange at alternate locations... .school, daycare, public midway locations or the sheriff's office.  There could still be incidents, I still had to be cautious, but at least I didn't venture into her home territory that could trigger her to overreact.  Yes, we do sometimes make exceptions and pick up or drop off at the other's home but only when things are calm.