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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: disorderedsociety on June 03, 2015, 04:50:10 PM



Title: Its an interesting realization
Post by: disorderedsociety on June 03, 2015, 04:50:10 PM
The one where BPD is relative insanity. They still have their own, perfectly valid (relatively) perspective. It doesn't make you or them, or anyone drawn into the circle, any more "right," "wrong," "better" or "worse" than anyone.

"Nons" have no established routes toward self-realization, neither do "BPDs." We all want to make the right choice. In my experience, "BPD" people make what they consider to be the best decisions based on a sense of impending doom. So while this puts "nons" in a better spot, we're still responsible for not making the same choices and doing what we can to be the best possible versions of ourselves.

At this moment in my journey, I'm realizing this in order to stop dwelling on the past and focus on my future.

Anyone have good insights to share?


Title: Re: Its an interesting realization
Post by: ReclaimingMyLife on June 03, 2015, 04:58:57 PM
Seems this could be true with every person and in every r/s... .that everyone has "their" version of truth/reality.  Indeed, we are all subject to the lens through which we view the world.  I guess that leaves us, everyone, to partner with those whose reality is a good match.  

This is certainly true in my new "non" world of online dating.  I was thinking today I should probably post that I am in favor of gay marriage, am pro-choice, etc.  My reality may not be more right than anyone else's, but I know I don't want to partner with someone who feels contrary.  And presumably they don't want to partner with me.  

Maybe my UxBPDbf's version of "reality" was more right than mine.  But, rightly or wrongly, it was too hard for me to live with.  We simply were not a good long-term match.  He could get angry, tell me to "go f*ck myself, and still love me all the while.  Maybe he is right.  Maybe we should all be able to do that.  But it didn't work for me.  It wasn't the version of "reality" that I wanted/needed/could live with.  

Good reflection, disorderedsoceity!