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Title: Reconciliation note after nc for 3 months. Post by: understandnow on June 04, 2015, 04:43:40 PM After numerous rants and rages, I told my uBpd Dil not to contact me again. My son is in the middle and wants me to fix things using guilt on my part. After much thought I sent her a note that she was an important member of our family and that I should not have told her not to contact me again. I used what I have learned from this sight to offer sympathy, empathy and truth. I explained my husband and my boundaries which were, she doesn't have to like us but she needs to be kind and respectful. The other boundary was that we were going to continue seeing our granddaughter when she is not in our sons custody. I told her that we would love to get passed all this and move on. I am thinking the drama will start again after 3 months of bliss. Did I do the right thing. If the drama starts, I am armed with information from this sight.
Title: Re: Reconciliation note after nc for 3 months. Post by: Kwamina on June 05, 2015, 09:57:29 AM Hi understandnow
Has your Dil responded to your note? When it comes to these matters, I feel like there often isn't a real right or wrong. We do the best we can with what we know and I think it's very positive that you were able to apply the things you've learned here |iiii Boundaries are primarily about protecting our own well-being. We might not be able to change the other person, but what we can do is change our own behavior and by doing so we can change the dynamics of the relationship (regardless of whether the other person changes or not). Title: Re: Reconciliation note after nc for 3 months. Post by: understandnow on June 05, 2015, 10:32:48 PM Well I received a text from my Dil. Let's just say she was disregulating and described my boundaries as "demands". What I thought was a very reconciliatory letter turned into a rant. I didn't answer her. Is there anywhere to go from here. This is for my son's sake of family harmony.
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