BPDFamily.com

my BPD wife tells lies to people (friends/family) in order to cover her gambling addiction.

She acts as though the lies are reality. (I only recently discovered BPD was the cause) Even with me. ive dealt with the ridiculous accusations but the long term lies/alternate reality... .?

does she actually believe the stories she has manufactured?

Apparently she has lost all respect for me, but the loss of respect is fueled by the untrue statements/stories from her.

its a paradox really: lies make me a bad person. So, its ok to blame a bad person to save your stature, they deserve it. Away goes the snowball down the hill.

any ideas on how to break the cycle?

is it even possible to stop, let alone regain my status in her mind as the stand up guy I am, the man who would do anything for her?

Hi Links,


She may or may not believe it. Probably if challenged and not feeling threatened (combination unlikely) she would sense that something is odd. Some pwBPD may rewrite memories and be deeply in denial. Some others habitually lie to protect their weak self.


As long as it is easier to blame others than to take responsibility - why should she change - it works for her.


Yeah she got a good man  |iiii But rescuing the damsel in distress that always seek out distress is not a sustainable relationship model. Doing anything for her won't help as anything is not enough to fill a black hole. What you need are solid boundaries that stops her emotional and financial abuse. Dealing with destructive addiction is difficult and the first step out of the hole is us drawing a firm line for ourselves and discontinue to enable. Read up on boundaries (links see LESSONS). They are rules for ourselves that help restoring respect.